


Iplier '06

by 1AbbyNewth5



Category: A Heist With Markiplier, Video Blogging RPF, Who Killed Markiplier? (Web Series), markiplier - Fandom
Genre: AO3 PLEASE give Darkiplier a character tag, But I hope it's still fun nonetheless, Dark is also non-binary in this because why not, Everybody is a BIT out of character, Maybe - Freeform, Multi, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, The Ultimate Incorrect Ego Quotes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:47:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 56
Words: 17,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22254385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1AbbyNewth5/pseuds/1AbbyNewth5
Summary: HEAVILY based off of Real-Time Fandub Games "Sonic 2006", this is a multiple chaptered adventure of shenanigans and incorrect quotes from the dub as Markiplier and his characters, and YOU are a part of it!You are the heir of a kingdom, and you are going through a huge disaster that all has to do with a real-life battle royale of Fortnite, and it's up to your hero Mark Fischbach, and his doppelgangers to save the day.
Relationships: Mark Fischbach/Mark Fischbach, Mark Fischbach/Reader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 16





	1. Make the Most of the Night Cuz We're Gonna Die

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, this is based off of this VERY special video, "Sonic the Hedgehog (2006) | Real-Time Fandub Games". If you'd like to watch it before reading this script story, watch it here -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGe79n-jcHk
> 
> If you'd like to read along as the video goes, go right ahead! It can be very fun.
> 
> Here is the cast of characters:  
> Mark Fischbach as Sonic  
> Seer Celine as Blaze  
> Darkiplier as Shadow  
> Mayor Damien as Silver  
> Bingiplier as Tails  
> Wilford Warfstache as Rouge  
> Yancy as Knuckles  
> YanderePlier as Amy  
> Y/N as Princess Elise (Heir)  
> Actor Mark as Mephiles  
> Captain Magnum as Dr. Eggman  
> Harold B. Darrensworth as King Duke  
> Google as Omega  
> Google Red, Google Green, & Google Yellow as Other Robots  
> Benjamin Butler as One of the Princess’s assistants, I Guess  
> Ethan as The Priest Guy in the Beginning  
> House Entity as The Grand Slam and the Worm Gremlin  
> Amy Nelson as herself
> 
> Enjoy this mess!

**[** A marching band version of “Die Young” by Ke$ha plays as a royal boat floats across a lake between a kingdom **]**

[There’s a ceremony going on while Y/N, the heir of a kingdom, does a special ceremony thing with fire!]

 **Y/N, waving to the crowd:** Hi! Hello! Oh my gosh, you guys are too much!

 **Crowd Member #1:** Sign my socks!

 **Crowd Member #2:** Heir, sign my birth certificate!

 **Crowd Member #3:** Take my house!

 **Crowd Member #4:** Sign my tax forms!

 **Crowd Member #5:** Sign my toes!

 **Crowd Member #6:** My bed is made of scorpions.

 **Crowd Member #7:** … What?

 **Crowd Member #8:** You should get that fixed!

[Y/N makes it to the stadium with Priest Ethan, handing them a torch. Y/N stares into the flames intensely]

 **Y/N, internally:** _Wow, this fire is so bright. It’s beautiful. I can’t stop looking at it. (really selling it) Whoa._

[Y/N suddenly has a vision of the torch being turned into fire, and then into the Grand Slam, burning everything]

 **Y/N:** It’s like it’s spinning within me…

[The Grand Slam roars, ending Y/N’s vision to the present]

 **Y/N:** Oh shit! That’s outside- outside of me… Okay… Yes. I’m good!

 **Priest Ethan:** Heir, you had a That’s So Raven vision once more.

 **Y/N:** Oh no, I just day-dreamed. I’m here- for the people.

 **Priest Ethan:** Alright, well, let’s get litty in this bitch. Light that bitch up right now.

 **Y/N, raising the torch:** I will light this bitch up, right now.

 **Priest Ethan:** Thank you, Heir. We’re gonna get higher than a kite tonight!

 **Y/N:** It’s lit, fam.

[Crowd cheers as Y/N lights the bitch up, setting fireworks to go off]

 **Crowd Member #9:** Yay! I love the olympics!

 **Crowd Member #10:** Oh man, I hope somebody fucks up the fireworks!

[Y/N waves to the crowd before getting interrupted by explosions that DEFINITELY didn’t come from the fireworks]

[A huge ship soars overhead, dropping off many many many many MANY red (Elliot), green (Lenny), and yellow (Oliver) Googles (yes I gave them names cuz if Oliver gets a name, why not the rest?), surrounding the Heir Y/N]

 **Elliot #1:** We are the robots!

 **Lenny #1:** Please freeze!

 **Oliver #1:** There’s too much weight.

 **Elliot #2:** Please freeze!

 **Lenny #2:** Please freeze!

 **Oliver #2:** Am I doing this right? It’s my first day on the job.

 **Elliots,** **Lennys,** **& ****Olivers** **:** Please freeze!

[A smaller ship hovers down, and as it lands, it reveals Captain Magnum and his old pirate-y self, making the greatest comeback in all of Markiplier Cinematic Universe history]

 **Captain Magnum:** (chuckles) Why, ahoy there, young Heir! Do ye like me outfit? Me four coat nipples? Now- ye must acquire me by getting on this boat right now! Not the boat- my ship!

[Y/N flinches, utterly horrified of Magnum’s terrible new lines, and clenches on a special emerald that the Captain wants for… powers, I guess. He’s been a pirate for a while and it’s not going very well with his mental health]

 **Captain Magnum:** Gimme this- (noticing the emerald) You have an emerald! In yer hands! Gimme that shit right now, or I’m gonna rip it off you me goddamn self- Give it to me!

 **Y/N:** Uh, how about no? Heheh…

 **Captain Magnum:** Oh. You’d rather do this the hard way. Well, then it looks like we’re gonna…

[A mix of a black and red tornado swirls around Y/N and the returned Magnum]

 **Captain Magnum:** Belay that, these aren’t tornadoes! This isn’t Arizona! What’s happening?!

[The tornado disrupts itself, and after a gust of wind, it reveals friggin MARK FISCHBACH HIMSELF]

 **Mark:** My! That’s a pretty snazzy performance there.

[Y/N gasps, having a quick vision of somebody else who looks a lot like Mark, but it is not quite him]

 **Damien:** Eh?!

[Back to the present, and Mark looks around as if he already knows how to get Y/N out of this situation]

 **Mark:** HmMMmMm…

 **Captain Magnum:** Get that goddamn scallywag!

[The three Googles get gun arms, and fire at Mark, but since he’s Sonic in this hell of a parody OF a parody, he’s too fast for them and outwits them all]

 **Oliver #3:** Oh my God, he’s an acrobat!

 **Mark:** I’m gonna kill all of you!

[He pokes a red Google with the tips of his toes, and it sends the red Google to fall off a ledge]

 **Elliot #3:** (agonizing scream)

 **Mark:** Ope, don’t fall!

[He zips over to Y/N]

 **Mark:** HAHA, HA-

[He points a finger up]

 **Mark:** O N E !

[He scoops Y/N in his arms and zooms right off]

 **Mark:** Come on, buddy!

 **Captain Magnum:** Mark, where do ye reckon ye’re going, ye motherfucking-?! Urgh, he’s COCKBLOCKING ME, GET HIM!

[The Googles fire missiles, but Mark and Y/N are already so far away]

 **Mark:** Never gonna get me~! (to Y/N) Don’t worry, Magnum’s an egghead.

 **Captain Magnum, from far away:** WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!

[While this chaos is happening, a time-travelled Mayor Damien is thrown into the mix!]

 **Damien:** Oh, I should… uh… I- I guess he’s got it handled. I’ll just… I mean, it’d be really awkward if I walked in now, so…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is gonna be terribly received, but I'm excited anyway. LET'S DO THIS!


	2. Cur Means "Bitch" in Pirate Talk

**[** Mark and Y/N are busy runnin **]**

**Mark:** You okay, buddy? (hops) Woo!

[A few Googles come in]

**Elliot #4:** We gotta kill him. We gotta kill him.

**Mark, setting Y/N down:** No, you can’t kill anybody, especially not me!

[Mark proceeds to be the best fantastical badass in the world, beating the crap out of the Googles]

**Lenny #3:** OH MY GOD, I HAVE A FAMILY.

[The Baby Battle ends with Mark kicking over a Google’s head, ending with a previous defeated one shouting, “REGINALD, NO!” even though there are no Reginalds in this Google Gang]

**Mark, turns to Y/N:** (Solid Snake Exclamation sound effect) Huh?! It sounds like you’re getting taken away!

[Y/N screams as Captain Magnum kidnaps them, and they both hover in the air, waiting for the bigger ship from before to arrive]

**Captain Magnum:** Aye Mark, I got ‘cha cur! I got them in the palm of me hands!

**Mark:** Put them down, Magnum!

**Captain Magnum:** You put yerself down. I’m taking them AND my emeralds!

[Y/N tosses their emerald]

**Y/N:** Take it! Houee!

**Mark:** I’m gonna drop it, no! (catches the emerald) Oh, thank God. Okay… I’ll rescue you. Don’t worry.

**Captain Magnum:** No, ye won’t.

**Mark:** I will!

**Y/N:** Take it. Be good.

[The bigger ship arrives, and the smallest one enters underneath it]

**Captain Magnum:** I’m taking them back to my ship, and you’ll never see them again, Mark, you’ll be dead! Ten thousand years, Mark! TEN THOUSAND YEARS!

**Mark:** _You_ won’t even live for then- ten thousand years.

**Captain Magnum:** “Then” thousand years!

**Mark:** Don’t make fun of me!

**Captain Magnum:** Wow, Mark, go read a book or something! See ya! Idiot!

**Mark:** I can read very well, actually.

[The bigger ship flies off, leaving Mark all alone]

**Mark:** No! ...Well, that smarts.

**Captain Magnum:** Dumbass.


	3. Edgy Snowy Times

**[** Meanwhile, in insert snowy army place here, it is guarded by even more Google robots sans the Blue one, and as soon as they all notice movement and draw out their guns, DARKIPLIER ENTERS! **]**

**Darkiplier, internally:** **_Damn robots. Always taking my job of being bland._ **

[The Googles that Dark passes by blow up from behind them]

**Darkiplier, out loud: How did I blow you up? How did I blow YOU UP?!**

[They leap over the head of one last Google that blows up, and lands on the other side of a gate]

**Darkiplier: I have some powers I need to kind of adjust to.**

[A spotlight flashes around, almost exposing Dark]

**Darkiplier: Anyway- oh crap- light.**

[They hide behind some barrels and look down at their new ring]

**Darkiplier: Hey… ring. Tell me my future.**

**Ring:** _It’s me, the GUN soldier that’s talking to you. Your future is: Undetermined._

**Darkiplier: Well, that’s pretty lame. I spent like, $20 on you. Anyway. I’m gonna break into- (disappears) WHOA!**

[Dark is now walking in a different snowy area, this time with Wilford Warfstache accompanying them! Wilford has a special scepter that he made and is carrying it around like his pride and joy - as it should be]

**Darkiplier: Wow, that was weird. Dematerializing, rematerializing. Anyway, Wilford, that’s a nice purple you have there.**

**Warfstache:** Thank you! It’s a nice color on me. What do you think of my scepter?

**Darkiplier: I think it’s nice. That’s the purple I was referring to.**

**Warfstache:** Oh!

**Darkiplier: I mean, it matches your pink.**

**Warfstache:** Gotcha.

[Earthquake noises]

**Warfstache:** What’s happening?

**Darkiplier: It’s an earthquake, Wilford. Like, honestly, didn’t you learn about this in third grade?**

[THREE MORE GOOGLES COME IN to fight Dark and Warf]

**Elliot #5:** You’re getting fucked.

**Warfstache:** I don’t know what earthquakes are…

**Darkiplier, scoffing: Then you’re gonna be no use against these earthquake robots.**


	4. Ears Hanging Low

**[** Mark runs into Bingiplier **]**

 **Mark:** Hey, Bing! Long time no see!

 **Bingiplier** **, really forcing the childlike optimism: Hey,** Mark! **How’s** it **going?** You **wanna** go **get** some **ICE** CREAM?

 **Mark, distracted by the optimism:** Well…

 **Bingiplier** **:** **I’m** really **hungry** for **some** ice **cream.** I **could** go **for** a **sundae** or **something** right **now,** I **dunno!** Maybe… **something** with… **sprinkles.**

 **Mark:** I’ll take (points) o n e scoop, please!

[Mark runs off in a different direction for some reason]

 **Bingiplier:** Okay! **Bye,** Mark! **I-** (realizes he’s going in the same direction as Mark… and his robo legs are making him fly) **Oh-** Okay… **I** can **fly?!**

[A “Do Your Ears Hang Low?” instrumental plays from the Ice Cream Ship, that is surprisingly the same ship that Magnum has held Y/N captive in. Mark and Bing fail to catch it, and stop at a beach]

 **Mark:** Aw, missed him again. We always miss the ice cream airship, Bing!

 **Bingiplier** **:** Aw, **MAN!**

[SFX: “Feather!” as a white feather floats in the sand, and Mark picks it up]

 **Bingiplier** **:** It **dropped** a **feather…** I **didn’t** think **airplanes** had **feathers.**

 **Mark:** What is this one, vanilla?

 **Bingiplier** **:** I **guess** so. (runs off for no reason) **Bye!**

[Mark stares at the feather, and has a determined look. He runs off in the same direction that Bing did]

 **Mark:** Yummy yummy in my tummy.

[This is a man that is trying to save the world]


	5. The Computer Room

**[** Dark and Wilford transport themselves into The Computer Room **]**

**Darkiplier: Oh crap. Rays. Well, fortunately we made it here to the computer room- Hey, Wilford. Hey Wilford, hey Wilford. We-**

**Warfstache:** Yeah.

**Darkiplier: We found- we- we found the Computer Room.**

**Warfstache, processing:** Oh  _ fuck, _ the Computer Room! We could play so much Fortnite in here, Dark!

**Darkiplier: Are you kidding?**

**Warfstache:** Just think of all the Fortnite battles we could win in this room, with this much technology! We’d be unstoppable!

**Darkiplier: That’s lame. Listen. I appreciate the effort, but the new rage is Doki Doki Literature Club battle royale.**

**Warfstache:** Ohhh, I never heard about that one.

[Dark stares at a framed picture of Heir Y/N, and mistakens it as…]

**Darkiplier: That’s the new Monika re-design. She’s like a redhead… even though she was, like, kinda brunette? I don’t know. I didn’t play Doki Doki.**

**Warfstache:** I’ve not heard about that one yet, what’s it about? How does it work? It sounds like a fun game. But, I mean, my favorite game is Fortnite, obviously. (gestures scepter) And this is a Fortnite update, this is a DLC I purchased! It’s like an Amiibo.

**Darkiplier: I’m so proud of you.**

**Warfstache:** Thank you!

[Wilford looks up at the screen of the Computer, and sees a spot]

**Warfstache, pointing:** We’re gonna go there. That’s where we should- That’s the island we should drop on, right there.

[And so they do]


	6. Tilted Ramen

**[** Wilford and Dark are walking around in an old arena looking place they dropped on **]**

**Darkiplier: So, this is the fabled Tilted Towers.**

[As Wilford tries to hold in a laugh, Magnum’s baby ship hovers down]

**Darkiplier: I could make a joke about that being the Battle Bus, but… (gasps, noticing Magnum) it’s you!**

**Captain Magnum, chuckling:** I know where _we’re_ dropping today, boys!

 **Warfstache:** Magnum, how did you get here?

 **Captain Magnum:** How do ye _think_ I got here? I floated down on my giant Battle Bus. (mumble-sings something about a Battle Bus is coming) Ye know what I’m saying? It’s Fortnite! How could ye not know about Fortnite? You said ye played! You were WifeFucker69 on there!

[JESUS EVEN MORE GOOGLES]

**Darkiplier: I haven’t seen you since… the Incident.**

**Elliot #6:** WifeFucker.

 **Captain Magnum:** We don’t talk about the Incident, Dark, now DIE!

 **Lenny #4:** I’ll destroy you, WifeFucker!

[Lenny fires a missile that sends Wilford in the air, screaming]

**Darkiplier: Oh Christ!**

**Oliver #4:** Instant Ramen!

 **Warfstache, while falling:** That’s so mean!

**Darkiplier: That’s what you get for unironically having ‘69’ in your name.**

[Dark runs over to catch Wilford from falling]

 **Warfstache the Damsel:** You saved me!!

[Cut to a random shot of a Magnum close-up that is just _too_ close for comfort]

 **Captain Magnum:** HAHA- (realizes how close-up he is) No, _GOD-_

[Wilford’s scepter falls for a while]

**Darkiplier: Oh crap, the Purple’s falling for a very long time!**

**Warfstache:** No! Gimme the- get the purple!

[The Purple lands on the floor, and “We Like to Party!” by Vengaboys starts playing]

 **Warfstache:** Oh, no!

[The power of “We Like to Party!” is so strong that it causes the Blue-less Google Gang to electrocute]

 **Elliot #7:** OW.

 **Lenny #5:** OUCH.

 **Oliver #5:** I CAN TASTE COLORS.

 **Elliot #8:** OUCH.

 **Lenny #6:** OW.

 **Oliver #6:** INSTANT RAMEN.

[Dark walks over to the Purple]

**Darkiplier: So it’s the power of… Purple. (hesitating) I don’t want to touch it.**

**Warfstache:** Did he break it?!

**Darkiplier: I don’t know-**

[A huge shadow-like creature bursts from the scepter, and the “We Like to Party!” beat drops]

**Darkiplier: OH GOD.**

[The shadow-like creature swirls around and disassembles the Google Gang]

 **Captain Magnum, panicking:** Oh no, the Instant Ramen’s been released! We need to go, NOW.

[Magnum soars off with his Battle Bus]

 **Warfstache, devastated about his scepter:** Nooo, my Amiibooooo…

[The shadow creature soars in the air]

**Darkiplier: I feel like I should be able to feel with this guy, but… I don’t know. Something about it- AUGH!**

[The shadow creature disappears in the ground near Dark’s shadow]

**Darkiplier: Going through the floor, who do you think you are, Danny Phantom, or something-? (gasps)**

[Dark’s shadow stretches out]

**Darkiplier: My shadow… THAT’S how I got my name!**

[Menacing laughter comes from the shadow creature, but it turns into violent coughing as this creature forms itself]

**Darkiplier: Oh- friend, are you alright? You good?**

[More violent coughing]

**Darkiplier: You need a lozenge?**

**Warfstache:** Oh my god, who the fuck is that?

**Darkiplier: Just let them- just give them a second to clear their throat.**

[The coughing dies down, and the shadow creature that was in the middle of taking form was the ratman himself, Actor Mark]

 **Actor Mark:** (menacing laughter) Welcome to Tilted Towers. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is… Memphis, Tennessee, and I’m part lizard. Nice to- (subconsciously bows) Yoroshiku egai-ishima, as they say in Nippon.

 **Darkiplier:** **_Actor!_ ** **I should have guessed. What happened to your mouth?**

 **Actor Mark:** Oh, Darkiplier, you don’t know? There’s a new trend going around online called “kinning”. My body is reforming to suit your own. Soon, I will be 100% Dark, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me! (definitely a hero-like laugh)

**Darkiplier: I can, um, kick your ass. Right now.**

**Actor Mark:** (Minecraft zombie growl) Let me get a good smell of you, little thing. (deep congested breathing)

**Darkiplier, deeply disturbed: No- Okay- You have to- you’re gonna have to back up…**

[The Actor projects an orb in his hand]

 **Actor Mark:** Look at this orb! Inside, you’ll see the future. In your future, it looks like Wilford will kiss seven girls. How lucky for you! I learned this a few minutes ago.

**Darkiplier: Joke’s on you! If you were a true copy of me, you’d know Wilford isn’t straight!**

[The orb grows larger, surrounding the Actor, Dark, and Wilford]

 **Actor Mark:** Here, come to my house. C’mon, let’s just go.

[Wilford zips out of existence]

 **Warfstache:** WHA-!

 **Actor Mark:** To my house!

[Dark zips out of existence as well, along with the SFX: “Zyoom!” Same thing with the Actor]

[They just got Thanos’d, what the shit?]


	7. The Grand Slam

**[** In the Future, a past-time-travelled Damien is wandering through an apocalyptic city **]**

**Damien:** Okay, so… Google Maps said the Denny’s would be just around this corner. Denny’s? Ah!

[A huge flame swirls around, and Damien gets rid of it by being polite]

**Damien:** Get out of my way, please! Thank you!

**Celine:** Damien!

[Damien turns to see his sister running to him]

**Celine:** Damien! (points to a different direction) The Denny’s is that way.

**Damien:** Finally… a Grand Slam!

[He runs in Celine’s direction]

**Damien:** Let’s go!

**Celine, while chasing after Damien:** Save a cheese melt for me, Damien!

[They both make it to the GINORMOUS flame monster - The Grand Slam]

**Celine:** There it is. The Grand Slam! The Grandest Slam of them all!

**Grand Slam: I AM THE GRAND SLAM!!!!**

**Damien:** I’m gonna savor every morsel of this… Let’s go.

**Grand Slam: YOU WILL NOT CONSUME ME. I WILL HAVE BOTH OF YOUR SOULS INGESTED IN THE** **_GRAND SLAM!_ **

[Half an hour later]

**Celine:** And then we ate it.

**Damien:** I can’t believe we ate the  _ who~ole thi~ing! _

**Celine:** I know, I’m stuffed! I could use a nap, Damien.

**Damien:** Well, I just always want to sleep, you know. I’m tired all the time. I hate it. ‘Cause then when I try to go to sleep, I- I can’t.

**Celine:** I know, and you angst so much about it.

**Damien:** (sighs) I just want to sleep, Celine. I’m so sick of taking melatonin, it makes me tired all the time!

**Celine:** Oh, I fucking feel you there, brother. Insomnia, am I right?

**Actor Mark:** _Hey, gamers!_

[The twins look up and see the Actor standing on a pedestal]

**Actor Mark:** _Were you talking about Fortnite-?_ No, I’m not even gonna pretend you were talking about Fortnite. I just really love bringing up my favorite game whenever I can. I, too, have insomnia, but unlike you, mine is not caused by depression.

**Damien:** Hey, that’s not- Well… yes, I am depressed. Okay.

**Actor Mark:** Mine is because I play so much Fortnite. I stay up late, and go to Tilted  towers \- (quickly) Idon’tactuallyplayFortniteIdon’tknowanyotherplaces.


	8. Actor Incel

**[** The Actor gives Damien and Celine a tour of his mansion **]**

**Actor Mark:** Welcome to my house. As you can see, I’ve knocked over many chairs because I get to _tilted_ at the _towers_ _._

**Damien:** This isn’t really tilted, _or_ a tower…

**Actor Mark:** Well, you see, it’s a gamer pad. Not many girls come in here ‘cause I get friendzoned so frequently. But that’s okay.

**Damien:** _I’d_ like to be in the friendzone. I’d like friends.

**Actor Mark:** It’s not as pleasant as you’d think. They don’t treat you like a friend. They treat you like an _item._ Sometimes, I wish I could be more than just an accessory to these women, but unfortunately, as a gamer, I don’t get respect.

**Damien:** Well, I’m not a gamer, so maybe they’ll respect me!

**Actor Mark:** That just makes you a beta cuck. That’s the difference between you and I, Mayor Damien. I’m an alpha gamer f- (breaks down laughing over how ridiculous this conversation is, and activates his new computer) Anyway… where are we- where we droppin’, boys? These are all the new maps that they’ve added, and that’s a newspaper.

**Celine:** Have you ever actually interacted with a woman in your life, Mark?

[The Actor pulls out a purple gem, and hands it to Damien]

**Actor Mark:** That doesn’t matter. Check out this cool gem I got on eBay for $7.

**Damien, entranced by the gem:** It’s so cool… can I add it to my rock collection?

[Damien then gets a vision from the gem, seeing Normal Mark being surrounded by fire]

**Mark:** WhoA- OH MY GOD! SOMEONE HELP ME!!!

[The vision ends]

**Damien:** (gasp) Oh my god! That looked like it hurt… What do you think, Celine? … Celine?

**Celine:** I didn’t see it.

**Actor Mark, while yoinking his gem back:** Give me back my thing. You see, I had to trap our creator in the Hell dimension ‘cause he disrespected gamers. If you- If you still- (purple orb forms in his hands) Anyway! Welcome to my purple orb, it’s time to go.

[Damien and Celine try to interject, but the three are already teleported out of the Computer Room]


	9. Dirty Hands and Sunburnt Legs

**[** Heir Y/N is sitting on the base of a pole, making worried noises **]**

**Y/N:** Maybe if I- if I keep thinking really hard, my hands will get clean. I really would like to eat.

**Mark:** Hey!

**Y/N:** Huh?

**Bingiplier:** Hi!

**Y/N:** How’d you get up here, guys?

[As soon as Mark was going to explain, Y/N hugs him]

**Mark:** Oh!

**Y/N:** I need a hug.

**Mark:** Your legs, are they okay? They look really sunburnt.

**Y/N:** Oh, well, you know-

**Mark:** (nods) Yeah I do.

[Bing notices that Magnum has arrived]

**Bingiplier:** **Oh** no, **look** out!

**Captain Magnum:** I have ye both-  _ all _ of ye trapped here. Now, ye can either give them up and we play PUBG together, OR, ye can stay down here and wrestle in yer Fortnite, or whatever the kids are playing now.

**Mark:** PUBG’s old news, Magnum!

**Bingiplier:** **Yeah,** Magnum, **you** lame-o!

**Mark:** Tetris 99’s where it’s at!

[And then they fought]


	10. Heavy Damsels

**[** In the sunset, MORE Googles come towards the Mark, Bing, and Y/N. Some are barking, some are singing the beginning lines of “Circle of Life” from The Lion King “ _NAAAANTS INGONYAMAAAA BAGITHI BABA_ ” **]**

 **Mark:** Hmm, robots in the sky.

 **Y/N:** Whoa…

 **Bingiplier:** **Robots** in **the** sky? **This** is **just** like **that** dream **I** had **once** about **robots** in **the** sky!

 **Mark:** Tell it to us in excruciating detail, Bing.

 **Bingiplier:** **Well…** it **was** a **whole** dre- (runs off for literally no reason, and is confused by this) **Bye?!**

[Mark knew that was coming, that asshole]

[Mark picks Y/N up]

 **Mark:** You’re heavy.

[Y/N acknowledges this]


	11. The Ultimate Game

**[** The purple orb from the Actor transports Dark and Wilford in the apocalyptic future **]**

**Warfstache:** Where the fuck are we?

[The two look out to the wreckage of a city]

**Darkiplier: This is the future that zoomers want, Wilford. This is the future of Fortnite.**

**Warfstache:** No! This can’t be the future of Fortnite, it’s the best game of 2018!

**Darkiplier: Yeah, but this is like, 20...99 or something. Like 99 Tetri- why am I black and white.**

[Dark and Wilford make it to the Computer Room]

**Warfstache:** I’m so confused, all my Fortnite save files are gone!

**Darkiplier: We found the computer room!**

**Warfstache:** We FOUND IT! This is it… This is where we make our breakthrough. We’re going to make a game. We’re gonna combine  _ all _ the battle royales, and make a battle royale better than Fortnite  _ ever _ was. Come on, Dark, you gotta be in this with me!

**Darkiplier: You’re right. And I know** **_just_ ** **the backing music.**

**Warfstache, while pulling out a phone:** Aaaaand- recording, go!

[Dark proceeds to doot “Pumpkin Hill”]

**Darkiplier: YES! The ULTIMATE soundtrack for the ULTIMATE game!**

**Warfstache:** Fucking  _ inspired!  _ This is going to be the  _ best game that’s ever been made!  _ We’re going to be rich, Dark!  _ Absolutely _ rich! All the gamers, all the gamers will be on our side… We’ll have an  _ army _ of  _ GAMERS _ to take on the world with!

**Darkiplier: You say that like it’s a threatening thing. Have you ever seen a gamer in real life before?**

**Warfstache:** No, but they have- they- talk big shit.

[Dark flinches and turns over their shoulder]

**Warfstache:** Wh…

**Darkiplier: Sorry, I thought I heard a cat.**

**Warfstache:** Oh.


	12. Mad World

**[** Another purple orb from the Actor transports Damien in a forest. An Instrumental of “Mad World” plays **]**

**Damien:** Agh! Oh… Oh my god, this is- Is that what a…  _ tree _ looks like? It’s beautiful…! Wait… is that a ROCK too?! Fuck yeah! This place rules!

[Celine is walking on a beach]

**Celine, singing:** _All around me are familiar faces, worn out places, worn out faces-_ (stops singing, noticing a house) Is that what a HOUSE looks like?! Oh my god! This place is amazing! Where am I, the future?! … (continues singing) _Worn out faces…_

[She looks over her shoulder]

**Celine:** Huh? I thought I heard a cat or something. I dunno.


	13. The Girl On Fire (along with a harmful anime stereotype)

**[** Damien travels a bit back in time to where Mark tries to get Y/N back from Magnum just 15 minutes ago in this dub **]**

 **Damien:** Oh my god, it’s the guy on fire! But… he’s not on fire…? I gotta see what’s up.

[As soon as Damien goes over to see the guy on fire, an overly cutesy schoolgirl in a skirt runs in]

 **YanderePlier:** Whoa, whoa, wait!

 **Damien:** AGH!

 **YanderePlier:** Where are you going, good lookin?

 **Damien:** No, I don’t- I don’t like being touched! Please stop! Please stop! Please-

 **YanderePlier:** I’m gonna get all up in that crotch!

 **Damien:** No! I hate this- I hate this- please-

 **YanderePlier:** Huh? Oh! You’re not my boyfriend!

 **Damien:** Go away, please.

 **YanderePlier:** Get outta here! EEW!

 **Damien:** Ugh.

 **YanderePlier:** Why would you touch me? Ew!

 **Damien:** Oh my god.

 **YanderePlier:** EW! PERVERT! PERVERT! PERVERT!

 **Damien:** This is the worst. This is the actual worst.

 **YanderePlier:** PERVERT!

 **Damien:** I wanna go home. I need- oh-

[Damien looks over and Mark is gone]

 **Damien:** Oh, now fire guy’s gone. This is- this is- that’s just- My- My whole good mood is ruined! I hope you’re happy with yourself.

 **YanderePlier:** I am happy with myself! I have a positive mental attitude!

 **Damien:** … God, I wish that were me. Anyway, go away.

 **YanderePlier:** You should just cheer up!

 **Damien:** No-!

 **YanderePlier:** You can believe in yourself! Friendship!

 **Damien:** Now you’re just saying words…

 **YanderePlier:** Wait, who are you?

[She proceeds to drag Damien along with her]

 **Damien:** Hey! No!

 **YanderePlier:** Let go of my hand!

 **Damien:** Let go! Please!

 **YanderePlier:** Let go of my hand! Pervert! Pervert!


	14. A Friendship Going Nowhere

**[** Mark is running through the Windows 10 screensaver, and sets Y/N down **]**

 **Mark:** We did it!

 **Y/N:** Oh… Thank you. Thanks, I appreciate that. My legs are really tired from not walking, though. You know how they like, cramp up?

 **Mark:** Oh, this? It’s my arm.

[Y/N proceeds to bandage Mark’s arm up]

 **Y/N:** Hands are so important. When was the last time you washed your hands? I haven’t washed mine in four days. I’ve also been eating rocks. That’s- That’s my go-to...

 **Mark:** Rocks?

 **Y/N:**...when I’ve been captured- Yeah! They’re pretty good.

 **Mark:** (waves finger) Nuh-uh-uh! That’s not food!

 **Y/N:** What about grass?

[A butterfly lands on Mark’s nose]

 **Mark:** _This_ is food, my friend.

 **Y/N:** (gasps) It’s beautiful! I love your new hat!

[The butterfly soars off]

 **Y/N:** I’m gonna name her… Alexa.

 **Mark:** You threw it away! Bye, Alexa.

 **Y/N:** Bye, Alexa! I hope she lives her best life, off in the sky.

 **Mark:** Me too.

 **Y/N:** She’s gonna become a part of the sky, that’s how it works.

 **Mark:** Come along with me! Why don’t you tell me your incredibly complicated backstory, in an interesting long-winded monologue? Complete with background visuals!

 **Y/N:** Oh! Okay, yes! So, once upon a time, I lived in a kingdom with my family, but the kingdom was on fire, or maybe I _dreamt_ it was on fire?

 **Mark:** Woosh! I’ll do the sound effects.

 **Y/N:** Oh, yeah. I know, I dreamt it. I dreamt it was on fire, and there was a BIG monster-

 **Mark:** Shwing~!

 **Y/N:** Oh my gosh, the sky is so beautiful… Guys… Look at the clouds, I saw a _pig_ in the clouds. I just- I- But I don’t know how. _It spoke to me._ It spoke to me like the fire monster. It said; “That guy needs some mousse for his mustache. Maybe a beard hydrator…”

[Mark grabs their hand]

 **Mark:** I know where to find a mustache, come on!

[They run a bit]

 **Mark:** How was that?

 **Y/N:** You know… it- it was all right. It wasn’t great. Definitely won’t recommend.

 **Mark:** (points) O n e !

 **Y/N:** Yeah, one…

[Oh my fucking god]


	15. Strange Confrontation

**[** Damien and Yandere are walking around a town, the same town as Mark and Y/N are walking in **]**

**Damien:** The battle royale game had a soundtrack that was so fire, it set fire to the world. And now, I have to find the guy who- THERE HE IS!

**Mark:** Huh? Who said that?

[Mark picks Y/N up and dodges a magic thing from Damien]

**Mark, setting Y/N down again:** Hold on. I think there’s a fan.

**Damien:** You must never rap again, or else the world will be destroyed!

**Mark:** Have you ever heard my mixtape? It’s fire!

[Damien blasts another magical thing from his hand, and it sends Mark flying]

**Damien:** Well, I’m gonna fire at you, into a wall!

**Mark:** AAAAAH!

[Mark lands up against a wall and falls to the ground]

**Y/N:** Oh my gosh…

**Mark:** Okay… I- I won’t rap again… Okay, I’ll do it, I’ll throw it away… I promise.

[Y/N is taken from Magnum from out of nowhere]

**Y/N:** Guys!

**Captain Magnum, somewhat singing:** They’re taken by the snap-crackle-pop!

**Mark:** (immediately getting up) Oh- there they go.

**Damien:** You stop! Hey! (another magic thing)

**Mark:** Agh!

**Damien:** I’m not done talking to you!

**Mark:** Okay, what do you want?!

**Damien:** Well, first, I want you to apologize. I mean, I was in the middle of talking to you!

[Yandere comes in, blocking Damien from Mark]

**YanderePlier:** No!

**Damien:** Yandere-? Wait, how do I know your name?

**YanderePlier:** I TOLD YOU my name!

**Damien:** … Oh yeah.

[Mark struggles to get up, but once he does, he gives Yandere a thumbs up]

**Mark:** Thanks, Yandere. Maybe you can feature on my next track. (runs off)

**YanderePlier:** Maybe I can feature on your next what?

**Mark:** (is still running) See ya later.

**YanderePlier:** Aw dammit, I missed my opportunity on Mark’s next album?! This is your fault, blue boy! I’m gonna pluck you up, melt you down, and make a fucking necklace!

**Damien:** Yeah, I probably deserve it…

**YanderePlier:** Oh wait, shit… You don’t make this fun ‘cause you’re sad!

**Damien:** I’m ALWAYS sad! That’s just my thing! I- I’m sorry, I’m sad. I can’t- That’s just how I be, you know?

**YanderePlier:** Well now, I just feel bad! Dammit! Alright, well, I guess, like… We could talk about, like… future?


	16. Still Don't Wanna Be Freeeeeeeeee

**[** Mark and Eric meet up with Yancy the x-prisoner. He’s a bit grumpy about it, but it feels nice to be free for a while **]**

 **Mark** **& ** **Bingiplier** **:** Hey **,** Yan **c** y!

 **Yancy:** Whaddup. I’m listenin’ to my Game Boy. It’s got the bomb tunes on it. Check out my favorite tracks.

[Yancy tosses his Game Boy, and Mark catches it]

 **Mark:** Oh, Super Mario Kart?

 **Bingiplier:** Not **Super** Mario **Kart!**

[A projection of Captain Magnum plays on the Game Boy with “Pumpkin Hill” playing]

 **Captain Magnum (projection):** _We have pictures of Mario, pictures of Luigi, pictures of Princess Daisy, princess of Picture Peach. Did ye know that the FitnessGam™ Pacer Test is only done for people who like gaming Minecraft?_

[The projection fades]

 **Mark:** Interesting.

[Mark tosses the Game Boy back to Yancy, but he struggles to catch it]

 **Yancy:** Yeah, the remix is a little hard to fuckin’ understand, (stomps on the Game Boy) crush.

 **Mark:** Yeah, it sounds like Pumpkin Hill.

 **Bingiplier:** Yancy, **why** would **you** listen **to** music **on** a **Game** Boy? **That’s** not **what** a **Game** Boy **is** for.

 **Yancy:** You’re right, that’s what a switch is for.

 **Mark:** Not gonna say what I said last time. ‘Cause that was weird. Alright!

 **Bingiplier:** **Wait…** what?

 **Yancy:** Hey, don’t take my anywhere-

[They take him somewhere - to Magnum’s Computer Room]

 **Yancy:** AW FUCK.

 **Mark:** Welp, here we are!

 **Bingiplier:** **Where** are **we?**

[Everybody immediately notices Magnum]

 **Captain Magnum:** Welcome to the realm. (chuckles, and yanks Y/N over) Now, I have the epic gamer right here.

 **Mark:** No!

 **Bingiplier:** Hey!

 **Yancy:** Aight, time to drop!

 **Captain Magnum:** Now, I’m gonna be turning you all into Minecraft PS4s.

 **Mark:** (pulls out random blue gem) But Captain… they’re my heart and soul-!

 **Captain Magnum:** Give me the gem right now! I don’t wanna hear yer musky mouth. Put the gem there, or I’m gonna put them in Minecraft.

[A small pole rises from the floor]

 **Mark:** Alright…

 **Bingiplier:** **Mark,** don’t **do** it!

 **Mark, placing the gem on the pole:** Time to give up my one-up.

 **Captain Magnum:** That’s right. I want that Aquafina, bitch! (disgusting slurps) I wanna sip that shit. (presses a button) YES!

[A pink portal wall thing activates from the ceiling, surrounding Mark, Bing, and Yancy inside of it]

 **Mark:** WHOA!

 **Yancy:** üüüüüüü-

 **Bingiplier:** **Oh** no!

 **Captain Magnum:** Enjoy your time in Fortnite, boys!

 **Mark** **& ** **Bingiplier** **:** N **o** **!**

 **Yancy:** Ah, _shit._

 **Mark:** Wait, is it Fortnite, or Minecraft?

 **Captain Magnum:** That’s for me to know when ye find out, ye goddamn nasty hedgehog son of a cur. I want you gone out of me life- Look at the size of me nostril, I can sMELL YOU FROM HERE!

 **Y/N** : Why are you so rude?

 **Captain Magnum:** Why are _you_ so goddamn pale? Now, get the fuck away from me. (goes over to a lever and pulls it) GET OUT OF ME LIFE, MAAAAAAARRRRRKK!

[The pink portal wall levitates Mark, Bing, and Yancy off the ground]

 **Mark:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

 **Bingiplier:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

 **Yancy:** MAGNUM, I FUCKED YOUR WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE-

[The three disappear]

 **Y/N, collapsing to their knees:** NO!

 **Captain Magnum:** Heheh, I flushed them down the _Terlet._ They’ll never be seen again. (shakes his head) Now, about those PUBG let’s plays, we can start something tonight, on twitchtv.com. If ye listen, I think we should maybe- no, not even- Not even PUBG. We’ll go with Fortnite. We’ll _do_ Fortnite. We’ll cre- _8_ Fortnite. And we’ll get Todd Howard on it. That way, he can make Fallout 76 battle royale. Then, we have to switch over our plans. That way, we create the ultimate battle royale experience, and I only need _you_ for it.

 **Y/N, not buying it at all:** So, I’m just gonna let you keep talking, and I’m just gonna meditate over here.

 **Captain Magnum:** Now, ye listen, ye’re the key component! And ye listen to me, ye will be me game tester! You’ll test all of my battle royale experiences. All the gamers will look up to you! You will be gaming gamer kid ruler! You’ll have Cheeto puffs on yer fingers… and TWITCH PRIME WILL BE MINE! Now. Do you agree to do this? Or am I gonna have to let ye go on the Terlet Purtal like those other ones did?

 **Y/N:** To be honest, I’ve been visualizing a beach this whole time. That’s what my dad always told me to do when I was really stressed.


	17. Here We Are in the Future

**[** In the Apocalyptic Future, Mark, Bing, and Yancy all end up in the same Computer Room, just messed up like Portal 2 **]**

 **Mark:** WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA!

 **Yancy:** This isn’t the beach!

 **Bingiplier: I** JUST **WANTED** ICE **CREAM!**

[Mark lands like a pro, Bing lands on his ass, and Yancy lands on his noggin]

 **Mark:** I feel like thinking about something, but I don’t know what…

 **Bingiplier:** Ugh…

 **Yancy:** I can’t think about _any_ thin’, my brain is schismed.

 **Mark:** Oh… You okay, Yancy?

 **Yancy:** No, my corpus callosum is swollen.

 **Bingiplier: My** head’s **full** of **jellybeans…**

 **Mark:** Sounds delicious.

 **Bingiplier:** Not **really.**

**Voice: You…**

[All three turn over to where the voice came from]

 **Mark:** Huh? I heard someone speak to me!

[It’s Wilford and Dark!]

 **Warfstache:** Well, hello, boys!

[The group is outside. All are looking out at the city]

 **Mark:** These towers are quite tilted.

**Darkiplier: Yes. I tilted them myself. See, we tried to make a game - battle royale - but anyway-**

**Bingiplier:** Look **at** this! **You** ruined **everything!** This **is** all **your** fault!

 **Yancy:** Dark. You- Listen, you got any weed on you, man? Like, since we’re here-

**Darkiplier: No! What, are you the only one who smokes weed here, Yancy? Except for maybe Wilford.**

**Yancy:** Wilford?

 **Mark:** Oh! … Speak for yourself, motherfucker.

**Darkiplier: Listen, that’s not important- (points) Look!**

**Mark:** … (thumbs up) I’ll point at you also.

**Darkiplier: I’m not in the sky, dicknips.**


	18. WOW Time Travel is Cool

**[** Mark, Bing, and Yancy are walking down a hall **]**

**Yancy:** So, dicknips, where are we goin’?

[All three notice a bright light coming from a different Computer Room]

**Mark:** What’s happening in here?

[Actor Mark, Damien, and Celine are in the room]

**Damien:** Uh…

**Actor Mark:** As you can see, this is the optimum drop point. Wow, look at my orb, it’s big and small!

[They disappear, and Mark, Bing, and Yancy go in]

**Mark:** Whoa, that orb looked big and small!

**Bingiplier:** **Whoa!**

**Yancy:** What the fuck?

**Bingiplier:** Did  **you** guys  **see** that?

**Mark:** What is this?

**Bingiplier: Where’d** they  **go?** Look,  **it’s** a  **big** computer!

**Yancy:** Wait, what’s on it?

**Bingiplier:** **Somebody’s** been **playing** Fortnite!

**Yancy:** Aw fuck.

**Bingiplier: Wait,** no,  **somebody’s** been  **building** a  **video** game!  **A** battle  **royale** that-

**Mark:** OH SWEET! I wanna be the main character!


	19. Don't Marry Doppelgangers, Kids

**[** Dark and Wilford are walking outside, and Wilford has a green glowy in his hands **]**

**Darkiplier: Got a nice green glowy thing there?**

**Warfstache:** It’s weed,  _ obviously.  _ I was hiding it from Yancy. He wanted it so bad, did you see the look on his face?

**Darkiplier: Yes, I did, although it might be irradiated, so you** **_might_ ** **be slowly developing death.**

**Warfstache:** That’s fine.

**Darkiplier: (gasps, whispering)** **_Robot…_ **

**Warfstache:** We’re all gonna die anyway.

[A Blue Google is lying lifelessly on the ground]

**Warfstache:** What is that? Looks like a weird…  _ cow _ or something.

**Darkiplier: Looks like a robot that we can’t possibly imagine what the voice could sound like.**

**Warfstache:** Maybe if we, like, put weed in it, we can make it work good.

**Darkiplier: No.**

**Warfstache:** You won’t even try it? Just try my ideas for once, Mark-! Uh- Dark! Fuck! Just  _ listen _ to me, for once! I’m sorry that I’m bad with names…

**Darkiplier: This is the last fucking time you confuse me with that asshole.**

**Warfstache:** You-

**Darkiplier: You did it once before, you did it again…**

**Warfstache:** Listen!

**Darkiplier: YOU DID IT AT OUR WEDDING, WILFORD.**

**Warfstache:** You just look so much alike!


	20. Sibling Bonding

**[** Time traveled back in time before the Apocalypse, Damien is sitting on a set of stairs on the beach **]**

**Damien:** You know, maybe things aren’t so bad. From here, I got the nice ocean breeze, just alone with my thoughts…

**Celine:** Hey, Damien.

**Damien:** GODDAMMIT!

**Celine:** What? What’s wrong?

**Damien:** Oh- nothing. Hi, Celine. How are you?

**Celine:** I can tell you want some alone time.

**Damien:** I do, but I also feel like I’m just gonna be alone longer than I want if I leave now, so let’s go… After I move my lips a bit more… You know, Celine, do you ever stop and think about how… this is really-

**Celine:** All the time. All the time, Damien. I can never stop thinking. Sends me into a fit. Always analyzing, always… so superior to everyone around me, just… I know so much, Damien. My brain is too good for this world.

[They’re both in the snow now]

**Damien:** Oh, we’re in the snow, now. Hey, look! It’s a blue! (picks up a blue gem)

**Celine:** Ah, yes. My echolocation located the emerald. As I suspected. I am superior once again. Damien? We’ve got work to do. Come with me.

**Damien:** Aw. I wish I was as cool as you…


	21. Weed and Pancakes

**[** Mark, Dark, Wilford, Bing, and Yancy are in a hot place **]**

**Mark:** This place is so hot!

**Warfstache:** Yancy, why the fuck do you have legos on your arm?

**Yancy:** You had the weed the whole time?!

**Darkiplier: YOU INTERRUPTED MY BROODING.**

**Warfstache:** Listen. I have the weed, and I have what you want, so give us what  _ we  _ want-

**Yancy:** I need it for my concussion.

**Mark:** Okay, so hand it over!

**Yancy:** You can’t keep my medicine away from me.

**Warfstache:** No, you can’t have it until you give us what we asked for-

**Yancy:** YOU CAN’T STOP OUR LOVE.

**Warfstache:** What?

**Darkiplier: Alright, so this is just getting into crack ship territory-**

**Mark:** Okay, OBVIOUSLY, this is a sore point.

**Bingiplier: We** need **to** go **over** there,  **and** just  **like-** fucking  **chill** the  **fuck** out.  **Everyone** is  **so** tense!

[A bit later, Wilford is floating over another gem thing]

**Warfstache:** Alright! So we found another-

**Darkiplier: HEY, DON’T-!**

[The Worm Gremlin pops up from literally nowhere]

**Warfstache:** WHOA!

**Darkiplier: What did I JUST say?!**

**Worm Gremlin: IT’S ME~! THE WORM GREMLIN~!**

**Mark:** Smells like pancakes!

[And then they ate it]


	22. An Album in the Making

**[** Yandere is sneaking **]**

**YanderePlier, singing:** _Sneaking, sneaking into the music studio, sneaking to Mark’s new album~!_

**Elliot #9:** Fuck, do I hear something?

**Lenny #8:** I can’t hear anything.

**Oliver #8:** Hey, Lenny! Have you started on your new single yet?

**YanderePlier:** That’s his band! Wow…

[A bit later]

**YanderePlier:** I need to sneak inside the-

[A wild Y/N appears!]

**Y/N:** Oh!

**YanderePlier:** Oh! Shit!

**Y/N:** Uh- Y- Yeah, right back at ya… friend.

**YanderePlier:** What are you doing here?

**Y/N:** Uh…

[An alarm goes off - with the sound of robots approaching]

**YanderePlier:** Aw, shit! What did you do?! What did you do to the album?!

**Y/N:** I- I just sneaked!

[Yandere grabs Y/N’s hand, and they both run down the hallway]

**YanderePlier:** Did you leak the album?! Goddammit!


	23. Recess

**[** Actor Mark, Damien, and Celine are outside **]**

**Actor Mark:** Ah, it’s so nice to be outside.

**Celine:** It  _ sucks _ to be outside.

**Damien:** Yeah, I- I agree with Celine. You know, this was kind of nice at first, but now I’m all congested, my eyes hurt…

**Actor Mark:** You know, I haven’t been in the presence of a fair maiden in… many a year… Celine, it’s so nice to be with you. (points over to Damien) And you, you beta orbiter male, I can do without you. But you make me feel stronger and smarter because you’re here. So you can stay for now.

**Damien:** Aw…

**Actor Mark:** Yes, I can feel myself becoming more powerful with all of your insolent little whines! I’m gonna do a little dance~!


	24. Jealousy is Not Your Friend

**[** Yandere and Y/N are walking around town **]**

**YanderePlier:** So, let me get this straight. You’ve been dating Mark, Mark Fischbach? The main guy, looks like this? (gestures self)

**Y/N:** Well- I guess? If that’s my story arc, then yes.

[Yandere’s eyes widen, and she looks at Y/N from toes to head. She contemplates as she does this…]

**YanderePlier:** Yep. I can kill you. I’ll rip your fucking throat out, wear is as a fucking necktie!

**Y/N:** Uh- Okay? I have no idea what the words you just said mean, but I’m glad we’re outside. It’s been like… a week. I’ve lost track of time…? I’m not sure if I’m a person.

**YanderePlier:** Hmmm… You won’t be, in just a second! So, tell me. Do you enjoy… rocks? In your stomach? Hahaha! That’s a fitting punishment I think for STEALING my boyfriend! I’ll fill your stomach with rocks, twinkle twinkle!

[Anime-like stars twinkle from her eyes]

**Y/N:** Actually… that’s all I’ve been eating for the past three days.

**YanderePlier:** You’ve been eating rocks? You’re immune… Dammit! Alright, well how about… I run around like this, and then scare you until your heart stops! Boo! (throws arms in the air) YAAAAGH! That’s right! I’m scary! I- aw, fuck it. I can’t compete. You have… skin, and…  _ hands… _ that are like, small, and dainty, and can fit in a butthole…


	25. Wow, Quick Turnaround

**[** Meanwhile back at the Hot Place **]**

**Mark:** And they have skin and hands that are small and dainty and can fit in a butthole- They’re the pal of my dreams, Dark!

**Darkiplier: I have one of those, too. He’s very very nice.**

**Mark:** Really~? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[Mark and Dark put two gems together]

**Darkiplier: ZA WARUDO!**

[A portal forms]

**Warfstache:** You may now kiss the bride.

**Darkiplier: … Wait, Mark, which one of us is the bride? Mark!**

[Everybody jumps in the portal besides Dark]

**Darkiplier: MARK, I NEED AN ANSWER!**

**Warfstache:** Come on, Dark! It’s time for the reception! (goes down portal)

**Darkiplier: No, I don’t know which one of us is the bride, and that’s kind of like a thing for… oh god…**

[Actor Mark appears with a weird flame]

**Actor Mark:** Go on, Darkiplier. Don’t you support  g a y  r i g h t s ~ ?

**Darkiplier: I- I do!**

**Actor Mark:** Look at this weird flame in front of me, it’s REALLY BIG! Doesn’t that intimidate you?!

**Darkiplier: Oh! Sorry, I confused you for the other Mark. I thought WE were getting married, Actor.**

**Actor Mark:** Come kiss me!


	26. COTINUITY ERRORS

**[** A portal opens up in town, Yancy and Bing still land on their asses while Mark lands like a pro - again **]**

**Mark:** Alright!

**Bingiplier: OW-**

**Yancy:** FUCK-

**Mark:** Where’s that sweet cake?

**Yancy:** My brain again…

**Bingiplier:** We  **made** it,  **we’re** back!

**Mark:** Bing, did you forget to decorate the pavilion?

**Bingiplier: No!** I-  **I** wasn’t **in** charge  **of** decorations,  **that** was  **Yancy’s** job!

**Mark:** Oh my god, of COURSE. (picks up a piece of paper from the ground) Oh! The invitation! You didn’t hand it out!

**Yancy:** I put it on the ground as a decoration.

**Mark, reading:** “To the best wedding of the century”. Oh my god…

**Bingiplier: Congratulations,** Mark!

**Yancy:** Wait, but youse got married in the future…


	27. Getting Captured Does Crazy Things To You

**[** At Y/N’s palace, they’re getting chased by… **]**

**Elliot #10:** Hello.

**Lenny #9:** Hello.

[Are you kidding me?!]

**Oliver #9:** Can I have your number?

**Elliot #11:** Beep. Borp.

**Lenny #10:** Instant Ramen.

**Oliver #10:** Beep. Borp.

**Elliot #12:** Robot noises.

**Lenny #11:** Anyone here got weed?

**Captain Magnum:** (chuckles) Ye thought ye could get away, gamer kid. You thought that ye could fucking escape me, gamer kid. But me IQ is TOO HIGH!


	28. Google Blue Has a Name Now

**[** A before-apocalypse-shutdown Blue Google (Gordon) is wandering around in the woods **]**

**Gordon: It looks like that I am trapped in the middle of a forest as Alpha and Omega 3. No one else is going to be out here to save me, so I must get away immediately.**

**Warfstache:** Well, hello~o, nurse~!

**Gordon: Who is this gross pink specimen trying to talk to me? Get away from me, thotticus.**

**Warfstache:** Hi! You are quite a hunk of metal, aren’t you?

**Gordon: And you’re quite one-polygon croched.**

**Warfstache:** (pulls out Green Glowy) Here, you want some weed?

**Gordon: I do not have lungs so I cannot smoke weed, but I will take it anyway, and put it directly into my braincells. Here we go.**

[Robot noises as Gordon injects the weed gem]

 **Gordon’s interface:** Downloading: “weed.exe”.

**Gordon: Holy shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. Wow.**

**Warfstache:** How does it feel? You enjoying it?

**Gordon: ……… What planet am I on? What’s today? My braincell: Destroyed. My wig is gone.**

**Warfstache:** Buh-bye~!

**Gordon: I- uh- alright. I’ll be- Best be going now. No one will ever follow me with my knife hands.**


	29. A... Toxic Relationship?

**[** Dark is in a Hell Dimension that the Actor has created **]**

**Actor Mark:** HELLLOOOOO THEEEERRRRE, (chokes and almost loses breath) Darkiplier…! It’s so good to see you in my new Fortnite map I’m developing!

**Darkiplier: I was actually meaning to ask you a question; Are you seeing anyone right now? ‘Cause there’s no one sexier than myself.**

[The Actor Santa laughs, and then breaks out of it]

**Actor Mark:** Why? Are you- Are you interested? Because, um… I was actually thinking, you and I are… pretty similar.

**Darkiplier: Bruh, I wouldn’t be asking if I wasn’t interested.**

**Actor Mark, flustered:** Check out my- look at my cool shield. It’s made of 17,000 polygons! And it’s also… purple and glowy, which is your favorite color, I’ve been told. Regardless, as I- as I said, previously, this is my new Fortnite map. I’m developning- I’m developing it in this volcano, and people will play it in  _ real life. _ If you die in the game, you die in _ REAL LIFE, _ Darkiplier.

**Darkiplier: How did you know Sword Art Online was my favorite anime? You should have known that I had terrible taste.**

**Actor Mark:** I know more about you than you could ever compreh- (realizes that a fake Mark is in the shield) Is that Mark? How the fuck did he get here? What the fuck is he doing in my shield?! You still know him, right?! You guys are exes or something?! Get him out of my fucking shield!

**Darkiplier: No, don’t you see?**

**Actor Mark:** If this relationship is going to work, you can’t bring your exes! You know how uncomfortable that makes me, sweetie, please! Let him- just go- make him go away!

**Darkiplier: Markostopheles, please! I didn’t know I was marrying** **_him._ ** **I only thought it was you because you look so similar…**

**Actor Mark:** MY NAME IS MEMPHIS, TENNESSEE, AND I WILL HAVE YOU RESPECT MY- name. (sighs) Here he is; he’s still here. Why- why is he here? Like, how did he even get in there?

**Darkiplier: I don’t know. Maybe we put a chicken bone in there or something, and he just couldn’t resist.**

**Actor Mark:** He  _ is _ that stupid. I’m glad we can still bond over how dumb your ex is. (randomly transforms, and it blasts Dark at a wall)

**Darkiplier: AGH! AUGH…! That felt great…**

**Actor Mark:** I know ex **actly how you like it, baby! And now, check it out! This is my new Steven Universe Crystal Gem cosplay~!**

[He’s just wearing a white mask with a pink mustache on it and eye holes]

[A blast of gunshots go between the Actor and Dark, and they both see that it is Blue Google]

**Darkiplier: Oh!**

**Gordon: I need you to stop right now, for you are not a true gem. You are nothing but a fraud.**

[There’s a violent gunshot, and it flings the Actor all over the place, choking and squealing]

**Actor Mark: What the fuck?! Oh my god…! I told you not to invite your asshole friends over, and now, I- I… (scrambled unintelligible noises)**

**Darkiplier: I’ve never met this hunk of metal, but I love him.**

**Actor Mark: LOOK AT MY EYES- I am SO fucking high right now. He’s just HERE, and I got secondhand smoke inebriated! (summons huge orb) I’m fucking leaving! I’m going back to my parents’ house until you get your asshole friends and order! Fuck you!**

**Darkiplier: What the fuck are you-?!**

[Dark chases after the Actor, and Blue Google chases after Dark into the orb portal thingy]

**Gordon: Dark, wait, please don’t-**

[Both Gordon and Dark are transported in the town]

**Gordon: Oh god. Dark, I only came to admit my true feelings for you.**

**Darkiplier: Ah. A world where everyone loves me.**

**Gordon: It’s everything about you. From your hot emo hair, to your crazy supernatural powers. Everything that you do. Is-**

[Dark is too busy to listen]

**Gordon: Are you even listening to me, Dark?**


	30. Changing Arcs

**[** A Warfstache arrives! **]**

 **Warfstache:** Hello~!

**Darkiplier: Hey.**

**Gordon: Oh god. It’s pink thotticus once again.**

**Warfstache:** Well, it is quite a pleasure to meet you here. Didn’t expect you to be here, Dark.

**Darkiplier: I didn’t expect to be here either, but here we are with your-**

**Gordon: Fortnite: Battle Royale will be the biggest game of 2018 if we do not stop that giant-**

**Darkiplier: Thank you, YouTube algorithm. Now, go ahead and screw over some more creators.**

**Warfstache:** Wait, Dark!

**Darkiplier: I said, I’m going against YouTube now. That’s my character arc now, baby.**

**Gordon: You look like YouTube Red, why are you making fun of me…?**

**Warfstache:** Dark! Let me help you! Don’t do this all by yourself! We were going to make the best game _together!_ (sighs) We make such a good team…

**Gordon: Do you have any more weed?**

**Warfstache:** Honestly, name a more iconic duo.


	31. Horrifying Truths

**[** Dark crashes through a ceiling to their Computer Room **]**

**Darkiplier: Little does he know, I hold the game file and-**

**Captain Magnum:** Mmm, this game is almost finished…

**Darkiplier: Hey, Captain Magnum. I found the Computer Room!**

**Captain Magnum:** I’m actually Todd Howard now, cuz I sell  _ all _ the video games.

**Darkiplier: That’s what they** **_all_ ** **say. Now quickly, I need you to publish my game.**

**Captain Magnum:** Dark, you are Mark’s greatest creation of all time for the battle royale, and now look at you.

**Darkiplier: What? Wait, hold on. Is Mark my dad?**

**Captain Magnum:** (chuckles) Where do ye think ye got all yer characteristics?

**Darkiplier: Of being an asshole? That would explain a lot…**

**Captain Magnum:** Look, the only thing he didn’t give ye is his realistic penetrating nipples coming off of his chest, Dark. That’s all ye don’t have. But what ye  _ do _ have is the battle, the experience to be a true Fortnite twink player.

**Darkiplier: If he’s my dad, that makes this whole thing horrifying… god.**


	32. Time is Strange

**[** Mark saves Y/N from a train, but it’s never shown at all, so here, have the aftermath **]**

**Mark:** Buddy! I’m so glad I saved you from that train!

**Y/N:** Oh, me too! It was so fast! I was so scared!

**Mark:** I know- (magic blast #3,450) Whoa!

**Damien:** … Hey, I saw you rescue the Heir from that train, it was really cool. Can we be friends?

**Mark:** Uh, no, I don’t like you very much. You’re weird.

**Damien:** Awwww… Now, I’m sad…! (MAGIC BLAST THAT SENDS MARK SOARING, AND HOLDS HIM IN PLACE IN THE AIR) Take that! This is what a cool does, right?

**Y/N:** Oh, no! How could you do this?!

[Guess]

**Captain Magnum, yoinking Y/N away:** WHY DON’T YE COME WITH ME AGAIN?!

**Mark:** No! Not again…!

[A WILD DARK APPEARS TO SAVE THE DAY!]

**Darkiplier: Hey. Oh, I haven’t met you… half-me.**

**Damien:** Wait… You!  _ You’re _ the one…!

**Darkiplier: Who did what? Wait, what did I do? I mean, what** **_didn’t_ ** **I do? I mean, look at me. I’m so hot, you know?**

**Damien:** You made a rap so fire…

**Mark:** This doesn’t change you leaving me at the altar! Wait, I guess it does, (runs) see ya!

**Darkiplier: … Hey.**

**Damien:** I’m gonna take you out to save the world!

**Darkiplier: Good luck with that. I have weed.**

[Dark uses the weed gem to freeze time and kick Damien upside the head]

**Darkiplier: See ya.**

**Damien:** (whimpering in pain)

**Darkiplier: Don’t you know? Weed makes you fast. That’s a factual thing.**

**Damien:** What’s a weed?

**Darkiplier: … Oh my god. You’re not white, but you sure act like it. Anyway. I finished making the game, I sent it to Captain Magnum. He’s going to upload it soon.**

**Damien:** No! It’s too late now… I can’t go back in time again, because… I can’t go back in time again! That’s just it… (pulls out blue gem) But maybe this Blue will save the world, maybe? Here.

**Darkiplier: Green!**

**Damien:** Blue!

[The two put their gems together and it creates a portal]

**Darkiplier: What did we just do? Did we do that together? Was that like a** **g** **a** **y** **thing?**

**Damien:** It’s  _ always _ a  g a y thing. I thought that’s just how it worked… I’m gonna go.

**Darkiplier: God bless you, Markiplier Cinematic Universe. God bless you. Well, if you need to go, then go; I’m gonna chill out here and make sure that it gets picked up by some big successful game development company that’ll be around for a long time like Blizzard.**

**Damien:** I was talking about taking a shit.

**Darkiplier: What…? Okay… go ahead. I don’t know why you need a portal to take a shit, but I mean, if you want to send your shit to the future, then… Go ahead. I’m not judgemental. At all.**

[Dark leaps in the portal]

**Damien:** Wait, no, don’t go in that! That’s the toilet!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You're not white, but you sure act like it." (I'm white, I'm allowed to say this, right...?)


	33. You're So Brave!

**[** Y/N is stepping on the edge of Magnum’s Battle Bus **]**

**Captain Magnum:** Now, you are going to play this game right now, or else I’m going to push ye off of this fucking-

**Y/N:** I mean, I could JUMP. That could happen too.

**Captain Magnum:** Or I could push ye off of this polygon mountain! Now, what is the choice? You can either, die, die, or-

**Mark, running underneath the Battle Bus:** No! Don’t do either of those!!

**Y/N:** Okay, I will do my own thing.

**Captain Magnum:** No, don’t do it-

[Y/N falls off the Battle Bus like a fucking crazy person]

**Mark:** NO!

**Captain Magnum:** NO, WAIT! I DIDN’T MEAN IT!

[Y/N lands right in Mark’s arms like a goddamn professional]

**Mark:** You scared the hell outta me!

**Captain Magnum:** Give me bACK MY G _ AMER K _ **_ID, MARK!_ **

**Mark:** They’re MY gamer kid, now! Ain’t that right, pal? Come with me.

**Y/N:** Oh, my legs… they weak. My legs are weak…

**Mark:** Thumbs up!

**Y/N:** Yeah, good job… Good job, Mark, I’m proud of you. Yeah, that was kind of scary. All right, let’s- let’s  _ bounce. _

**Mark:** (best friend noises) You wanna play God of War? Huh?

**Y/N:** Huh?

**Mark:** Who’s that?

[A literal army of Google bots comin at ya, who do you think?]

**Mark:** InStAnT rAmEn!

[Mark picks up Y/N and goes zoom]

**Elliot #13:** Find them.

**Lenny #12:** Find the Gamer Kid.

**Oliver #11:** We have to find the Gamer Kid.


	34. A Friendship Going... Somewhere?

**[** As Mark is running, everything felt very high budget all of the sudden… something… pretty. Something almost too pretty to come from a crappy game like Sonic ‘06 **]**

**Mark:** Oh! Wow, you look much better, dude!

**Y/N:** Oh yeah! The filter changed. It’s great, isn’t it?

**Mark:** I love Instagram. Let’s go to Snapchat!

**Y/N:** It’s amazing what natural sunlight in a filtered game will do, right?

**Mark:** I know, right? Like, you know, you just need that vitamin D!

**Y/N:** My skin looks amazing now! Oh my gosh!

[Mark takes Y/N to a BEAUTIFUL high rendered lake with a big tree in the middle]

**Mark:** I know- Oh, do you exfoliate?

**Y/N:** Well… yes? I- I guess.

**Mark:** That’s my tree.

**Y/N:** Oh my gosh, it’s beautiful… I wanna hug it! Can I hug your tree? Is that allowed? Do I have to ask permission?

**Mark:** Oh, well, I guess. Just, you know, don’t get too friendly with it.

**Y/N:** O- Okay, I promise- I’ll keep my hands to myself then. I’ll just put my hands back here, and admire it from afar.

**Mark:** Well, you can’t hug without hands, buddy. Make up your damn mind!

**Y/N:** I did! I decided that cosplay wasn’t consent, and I’m just gonna… thank you, for bringing me to your tree. It’s so wonderful. It’s putting me in all the right moods… of being… happy.

**Mark:** Well, what are some of those moods, huh?

**Y/N:** Well, happy is one, like I just said, and um… hungry. Hungry is a good mood. I’ve eaten nothing but rocks, as I’ve said, for a while… some plants would be a nice change to rocks…

[Flashback time I guess, where a baby Y/N is being comforted by their dad, and then cut back to the present - you know, there’s so much time travel in this, that I don’t know what actually is the present anymore]

**Y/N:** Dad used to feed me plants… That was nice… I think I’m starting to hallucinate, it’s been a while. I just keep getting kidnapped.

**Mark:** How about a hot dog? No additives.

**Y/N:** That sounds wonderful. Um… I’m gonna try not to cry now. Because that sounds- I’m- I need a minute. I need a minute, Mark.

**Mark:** No, let it out! It’s fine!

[Y/N runs over to hug Mark real tightly]

**Mark:** Oh-

**Y/N, half-crying:** Thank you… thank you.

**Mark:** Oh, yeah, I mean… Y’know, you gotta support your friends.


	35. DRAMA?!

**[** Dark and Damien (god it sounds weird writing both of these guys in the same place) are transported in the far past, in a random hallway. Dark lands like a pro, and Damien lands real clumsy-like **]**

**Damien:** Ow! (whimpering) It hurts…

**Darkiplier: This sewer system’s a lot more intricate than I expected.**

[Meanwhile, in a bigger room, Harold B. Darrensworth and his Kickclub members are messing around with some purple power shit that is really hard to explain]

**Club Member #1:** We gotta find the fucking purple power, dude.

**Club Member #2:** How are we gonna get the power to the purple, dude?

**Harold:** You better find it quick, ‘cause if we don’t find it, we’re not gonna be able to play Fortnite now, but-

**Club Member #3:** Harold! There’s too much yellow energy to counteract the purple!

**Club Member #4:** My mom’s getting back in like, 20 minutes, dude. We have to finish this.

**Harold:** I don’t give a shit, you better fucking fix it! Wait-

[A baby Y/N runs in the room like a friggin ninja]

**Harold:** What are you doing here?! Get out-!

[Harold shields Baby Y/N, and the yellow power thing explodes in the room, big enough for Dark and Damien to notice]

**Darkiplier: What was that?!**

**Damien:** Oh no! It sounded like yellow!

[The two of them run down the hallway and get themselves in the decimated room]

**Darkiplier: I knew there was too much yellow in this world. If I could do anything, I would eradicate three colors. Yellow, Silver, and then silver again.**

**Damien:** Oh… you meant me…

**Darkiplier: No, no, not you, Damien, just uh… There’s something about it, like… the person that Silver kind of… is… Okay. Yeah. No, I don’t like you, Damien. What are you looking at?**

[Damien is staring at gross liquid stuff traveling down a different hallway]

**Damien:** This is really gross, but I can’t look away… You know, it be like that sometimes…

**Darkiplier: Oh god, it’s like a pimple popping video.**

**Damien:** (cringes) I hate those…

[Violent coughing is coming from the gross disgusting liquid]

**Darkiplier: Oh god, I know that coughing…**

**Damien:** Oh, is it the weed? Is that what that is?

**Darkiplier: Close, it’s my husbendemy.**

[Dark runs over to Harold, and he hands them a familiar scepter]

**Harold:** Take this…! Protect my child from the gamers! Take this gamer reflective stone…

**Damien:** Uh- I’ll go check on the purple…

[he doesn’t check on the purple, goddammit Damien]

**Darkiplier, while taking the scepter and doing Damien’s job: That’s not weed. And** **_you_ ** **don’t even look cool.**

**Harold, thinking he’s gonna die:** And now… I’ll die.

[Dark chases after the purple as it continues coughing]

**Darkiplier: Oh god. Is that what I look like when I inevitably melt from over saturation of capitalism? … I dunno. I guess that’s where I’m going. I had a YouTube thing, though. Oh great emerald, tell me what I’m supposed to fucking DO in this dub!**

**Actor Mark:** **_Dark, I’m trying to reform, help… baby, help…_ **

**Darkiplier: Oh! It’s you!**

**Actor Mark:** **_I’m made of vape smoke, babe, come on…_ **

**Darkiplier: Oh, wait- he’s made of- wait, have you turned to vaping? Is that really a wise move?**

**Actor Mark:** **_Yeah babe, I’m made of purple juul stuff. C’mon…_ **

**Darkiplier: Well, I suppose** **_this_ ** **time, but you better cut that vaping out. Just kidding! You’re getting thermosed, baby!**

[The “We Like to Party!” beat drops again as Actor Mark’s vape smoke is thermosed in the thermos scepter]

**Actor Mark:** **_No, don’t put me in your big vape!_ **

**Darkiplier: Get in the thermos.**

**Actor Mark:** **_No, don’t vape me!_ **

**Darkiplier: Get in the thermos. Pokeball that motherfucking vape.**

[As soon as all of the Actor is thermosed in the thermos scepter, it lands to the floor with a small moan from the Actor]

**Darkiplier: Now I carry around my boyfriend wherever I desire. And what do you know? The perfect shape.**


	36. DRAMA?! (Part 2)

**[** Damien is doing a magic thing with his hands to keep the yellow power steady, and he whines about it **]**

 **Damien:** I leave for five minutes, and THIS HAPPENS!

[Harold B. Dad-sworth is carrying an unconscious baby Y/N]

 **Harold:** You’ve got to take care of the explosion, or we’ll all die. You have a high five on your forehead, that means you are an epic gamer. I’m gonna take my kid away so that way, we can’t die- (proceeds to walk towards the yellow) Kiddo, remember, listen…

 **Damien:** Don’t go TOWARD it! What’s wrong with you?!

[Harold proceeds to put baby Y/N on a table underneath the yellow explosion]

 **Harold:** Don’t- Shut up. I’m gonna resurrect them right now. (pulls out a white gem) Baby, take the gamer gems.

 **Damien, entranced by the gamer gem:** Wha…? Cool!

 **Harold:** I can’t believe this… By the power of gaming… I fucking live, and so will my baby. Now, gamers, unite! BRING BACK MY BABY!

[The gamer gem glows within the power of yellow, and it summons famous YouTuber, ChaosEmerald1 to knock baby Y/N back to consciousness]

 **ChaosEmerald1:** _What’s up, guys? This is ChaosEmerald1, just about to play Resuscitate This Child. Uh, I’ve never seen this kind of game before. I think the forced reader insert is a little much. I mean, why have a nameless blank slate as a main character?_

 **Damien:** Oh...

 **Harold:** It worked! Oh my god! (choked crying) Wait- wait- the gamer piss- it killed them! No! (over dramatic crying and lip quivering) The gamers… Damien… take them to E3, and see the-

 **Damien:** I don’t think I can carry them…

[Harold sets baby Y/N in Damien’s arms]

 **Damien:** Oh! They’re very heavy… I’m not strong at all…

 **Harold:** Damien- Damien- Just think about where you were before you…

 **Damien:** I- Where I was, everything was on fire!

 **Harold:** (shudders) My baby kid gamer… You’ll find your peace in another… (choking up crying)

 **Damien:** This seems really private. I feel like I shouldn’t be here for this…

 **Harold, while choke-crying:** Shut the fuck up I am talking to my baby. (sniffles) Okay…

 **Damien:** My arms hurt.

 **Harold:** Thank you so much. (to Y/N) Your hair looks like ketchup and you have the pale face of mayonnaise, but you’ll live. I know you will.

 **Damien:** If you don’t wrap it up, I’m gonna drop them! This- it really hurts…

 **Harold:** Goodbye- (falls over) Oh I’m dead.

 **Damien, trying to keep his strength to hold Baby Y/N:** Okay… I just gotta… Urgh… Oh, god… Hold on… kid, I… I’ll just- carry- you- aargh…


	37. Damien Needs A Nap

**[** As soon as both Dark and Damien make it outside, Damien is whining and panting while carrying baby Y/N **]**

**Darkiplier: Hey.**

**Damien:** I CAN’T FEEL MY ARMS!

 **Darkiplier: I see you got** **_your_** **self somebody. Not like romantically, because that’d be weird.**

 **Damien, crying:** Ohhhh it hurts! Oh no… where do I put this kid?!

[Damien spots a tree and puts baby Y/N down against it, and he cries a sigh of relief]

**Darkiplier: Oh, mood.**

**Damien, panting:** Finally… oh my god…

[Dark stares at their boyfriend-scepter]

**Darkiplier: What do you think, boo?**

**Actor Mark:** **_I think you should get me out of your fucking vaper, babe._ **

**Darkiplier: Hm. Think they like vaping?**

**Actor Mark:** **_No, they’re like, 11!_ **

**Damien:** No, that’s- I don’t think that’s…

[Dark sets the Acting Vaper down next to Y/N]

**Darkiplier: I think we should let them vape. Give them the freedom to vape. All living things is very freedom, Damiel. Freedom to weed, to vape, to Fortnite, that’s what we’re all tying into, I think. That’s a central message.**

**Damien:** I only know what _one_ of those is…

[Without even using their friggin gems, a portal opens up]

 **Damien:** Can you carry me-?

**Darkiplier, leaping in the portal: No.**

**Damien:** Oh… okay…

[Damien looks over at baby Y/N, and they make adorable little sleepy baby groans]

 **Damien:** How did they sleep through all of that? Well, whatever. I wish I could sleep. Bye. (leaps in portal)


	38. Wobbling and Fro-ing

**[** Cut to the present day (pre Apocalypse), and Magnum’s Ice Cream Ship soars through Y/N’s kingdom. “Do Your Ears Hang Low?” jingles loudly in the air as the crowd clamors on about it **]**

**Crowd Member #1:** Oh my god, there’s a ship in the sky!

**Crowd Member #2:** It’s the Ice Cream Ship!!

**Crowd Member #3:** Is Todd Howard driving an ice cream truck?!

**Crowd Member #4:** Oh shit, I gotta put this shit on YouTube!

**YanderePlier:** Oh fuck! THAT’S where I put my katana! Aw, dammit! Aw shit, I gotta go tell Mark! (runs off) Fuuuuuuuuuuck-

[The “Do Your Ears Hang Low?” instrumental jingles on as grown-up Y/N watches the Ice Cream Ship head over to their palace]

**Benjamin:** Um- Heir? Heir? Heir-

**Y/N:** I’ve been told to think about the ocean when I’m stressed. And I’m looking at that, and I’m real stressed.

**Benjamin:** Wait, you’re the regent!

**Y/N:** I’m just gonna go meditate, I’mma think of the ocean… bye, Butler. I’mma peacin’ out. I’ll let you deal with this.

[They walk off when Ben has had enough of their bullshit]

**Benjamin:** Heir, you’re the rULER OF THIS KINGDOM, YOU _HAVE TO_ _ ACT! _


	39. Best Sister Ever

**[** Damien lands on his feet from the portal in the same ol’ town **]**

 **Damien:** Ugh! Ow! Now my LEGS hurt! Everything-

 **Celine:** Wha-

 **Damien:** Celine, help me…! Everything hurts…

 **Celine:** So, did you have fun on your little adventures?

 **Damien:** No! I didn’t! I didn’t have fun at all… my hair is ruined… my arms hurt… I got kicked in the head… and I hate everything… and I didn’t even know I could do that. I’m usually just sad…

 **Celine:** That’s okay, brother. I know you’re lost without me. Be sure never to leave my side again, okay?

 **Damien:** Okay…


	40. Welcome To the Zone

**[** Blue Google is shooting the Actor a LOT. What a lovely day at the beach! **]**

**Gordon: Take that, and that! You motherfucker! You steal Dark away from me, I take your fucking skull! You motherfucking bitch!**

**Actor Mark: Yo, you need to chill the hell out, dude. I’m too high for this. All right, anyway, uh… This is the last time I try to have bots play on my Fortnite server.**

**Gordon: You are nothing but a Fortnite PR fake and an actual diamond accessory.**

**Actor Mark: What the fuck does that even mean? Those string of words just absolutely mean nonsense to me. You are so far below me, you lowly little trash can man.**

**Gordon: You are nothing but a fake game writer. You will never find happiness, you PIECE OF SHIT!**

[Blue Google blasts TONS of bullets at the Actor, who is making gurgling noises at each and every hit]

**Actor Mark: Ow! Dickhead! What the fuck?! I’m gonna lay down, I need a second after that. Jesus lord. Urgh- I’m turning into vape juice nooooo!**

[The Actor disappears into the sand, and Blue Google turns to see Dark and Wilford staring at him, terrified]

**Gordon: Dark, my baby. I am so sorry. I had to get rid of him because he was gonna get rid of everything. Also, does Wilford have more weed? ‘Cause I need that weed. My fucking system modules were breaking. My DD4R was breaking on the inside. But I really love you, Dark.**

**Darkiplier: Look, I don’t know what your DDR machine is, but-**

[3 minutes later]

**Darkiplier: That was an amazing dance!**

**Warfstache:** It was so good! You’re an icon! You’re gonna be more famous than Freddie Mercury!

**Gordon: I’ve been doing the JB block boy, and b-boy dances all my life. Also, no one knows how to do the shuffle like I do. Listen, Dark, I’m gonna come out and just say it to you because… my brain broken. And my heart knows what it desires. Dark. You are the one.**

**Darkiplier: Wilford, do you hear something?**

**Warfstache:** Uh… only the sound of… I don’t know. The ocean, I guess.

**Gordon: Is this the friendzone?**

**Warfstache:** Unfortunately, yes. This is what the friendzone feels like. Something I’ve felt more times than I care to say.

**Darkiplier: … (to themselves) I don’t know how to reciprocate against someone who’s that amazing of a dancer, but… (to W &G) Listen, we have more things to worry about right now… troupe.**


	41. Ouchie

**[** In Magnum’s Ice Cream Ship, Y/N is sitting on a chair with NO ROPES SO THEY AREN’T ABLE TO ESCAPE, and Magnum circles around them cuz villain trope **]**

**Captain Magnum:** (snickers) Back in my lair once more. How many times are ye gonna run? I’ve captured ye 17 different times!

**Y/N:** I feel like it’s gonna be at least 18.

[A long silence, for Magnum can’t think of a witty comeback]

**Captain Magnum:** (sighs) The caucasity of this cur. You run and run- I am an alpha male gamer!

[Y/N tries not to cringe at that, and turns away from Magnum]

**Captain Magnum:** They be like “This asshole…” I made Fortnite. Without me, ye wouldn’t even exist! Without me, ye wouldn’t be able to contain the demon because of gaming! Look around you. Imagine: Dragons. Now imagine it. Gaming, on Fortnite BR.

**Y/N:** I’m imagining the ocean, because I’ve established that when I don’t want to be somewhere, that’s what I think about.

**Captain Magnum:** Frank Ocean can’t save ye now, me hearty. No one’s coming for you. No one’s after you. I know what yer father wanted for you. I know he wanted ye to be a gamer, he wanted you to be saved by games. So ye’re gonna do this whether ye like it or not.

**Computer:** Welcome to EpicGames.com. Beep. Computer Room located.

**Captain Magnum:** Now, let’s see… if someone hacked into me Fortnite account, I’m going to have a birth of cactuses out of me arse.

**Computer:** Currently being hacked.

**Captain Magnum:** (demonic high-pitched screeching)


	42. A Quick Forgiveness

**[** Some last few Elliots, Lennys, and Olivers stop Mark from trying to get Y/N back AGAIN **]**

 **Elliot #14:** There he is!

 **Mark:** Ope- Gotta take care of these guys…

 **Lenny #13:** I’m gonna kill you. Fuck you.

[The robots are suddenly held still by Damien’s random blue supernatural-ness]

 **Oliver #12:** Aggghh!

 **Mark:** Oh my god, it’s Blue Man Group!

 **Elliot #15:** It is no use.

 **Damien:** Oh- I missed- um- bye!

[Damien does another magic blue man thing, and it sends all the Googles flying, finally all of them are defeated in the dub]

 **Damien:** I’m… sorry about mistaking you for the rapper; Darkiplier Fishback.

 **Mark:** That’s okay. My work is much better though, right?


	43. Number Games

**[** Dark, Wilford, and Gordon are out in… **]**

**Darkiplier: Hmm, the desert… Count how many sand is here, Google. That’s your first mission.**

**Gordon: Okay. 1. 2. 3. 4.**

**Warfstache:** Why the fuck would you make him do that?!

**Gordon: 5. 6. 7.**

**Darkiplier: It passes the time.**

**Warfstache:** It’s gonna take so long!

**Gordon: 8. 9. 10. 11.**

**Warfstache:** Dark! It’s gonna be so annoying!

**Darkiplier: I’m curious what the biggest number is.**

**Gordon: 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17.**

**Warfstache:** No! He’s just gonna be counting forever!

**Darkiplier: Perhaps.**

**Gordon: 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26.**

**Warfstache:** DARKIPLIER, WHAT HAVE YOU BROUGHT?! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!

**Gordon: 27. 28. 29. 30. There are only 30 million sand particles in this desert.**

**Darkiplier: See? That was easy.**

**Warfstache:** Oh my god.


	44. Gotta Count Them All

**[** Dark, Wilford, and Gordon make it to the Actor’s secret Fortnite temple **]**

**Actor Mark: Ya know, being an independent-**

**Darkiplier: Oh my god, Purple!**

**Actor Mark: Wha- (quickly) Shh,pleasedon’tinterruptme. (normal) Being an independent gaming developer has made me realize, I have so much more potential. Please, support my Patreon in my new startup industry. I will be selling and renti-**

**Darkiplier: Okay, Google!**

**Actor Mark: What-?**

**Darkiplier: Count the number of grains of sand in this room!**

**Gordon: Okay. 1. 2. 3. 4.**

**Warfstache:** Dark! What the fuck, man?!

[Gordon continues counting in the background]

**Actor Mark: I was going to compete with him to see who could count better, but apparently, he’s already on it, so whatever. Anyway.**

**Darkiplier: Okay Google, you can stop now!**

**Actor Mark: Look, just listen to me, and I will give you this orange juice gem.**

**Darkiplier: Just kidding, keep counting! It’s your ONE mission.**

[Gordon continues counting]

**Darkiplier: Now listen here. You won’t be able to stop the power of this game. We have mass computing power, as you can see by our robot.**

**Actor Mark: (definitely a hero laugh) You silly feeble-minded little gay. I am SO far beyond Fortnite. I have moved on, and my stardom will END THE WORLD!**

[The orange juice gem powers up and it sends Dark, Warf, and Google skidding across the floor]

**Actor Mark: As you can see, this power is already farther than you could look- EVERYTHING IS PURPLE! IT’S GREAT! (starts melting around the purple) Oh my god, look at how high resolution I am!! Aaagh no! Ack!**

**Darkiplier: This is… His game is better, it looks WAY better…!**

**Actor Mark: (dying noises)**

**Darkiplier, pulls out his vape scepter: However, he paid the price of his solenoid greatest game. Wait, how did I get this? Didn’t I leave it in the past?**

**Warfstache:** Get him, Dark! He’s our gaming competition! With him out of the way…

**Gordon: It’s time for him to go. No more Fortnite.**

[A blob from the Actor’s purple goopy corpse flies around]

 **Actor Mark with a silly voice):** **_I’m just a lil blob boy now, fuck you! Heheh! This is what I sound like as a cloud! Fuck you-_ ** **(he realizes he’s gonna get sucked in Dark’s vaper again)** **_Oh no! Shit-!_ **

**Darkiplier: Gotta catch em all, baby! ‘Cause he’s… Shadow.**

[The scepter suddenly freaks out and explodes - which causes everybody else to freak out]

**Darkiplier: Was NOT expecting explosions!**

[Everything stops freaking out]

 **Warfstache:** What- What just happened? What did you do?!

**Gordon, really predicting the future here: He went into the jar. Never to be seen again-**

[The Actor suddenly reforms, and every bone in his body is cracking]

**Actor Mark: Oh my god, my neck- kghkjfdghrdsfkgdsfjskfhkgdffxjzhgfdf- I need to see a chiropractor- ghkdfjgdsdsdjfhgdsfjghsdfkjghudkfj- Oh my- gyihfjksdkgshjfldkjghfkjsdghfdjgrtyheifwhjsdgnv- Oh my god- gfhksjdhgsfjdfgdfjsghd- Oh my GOD. DID YOU SEE THAT?**

[As soon as the Actor stretches out, it unleashes another weird magic thing, and it cracks the floor open]

**Actor Mark: Fuck you for making me go through that, dude!**

**Darkiplier: Ugh, Robin Williams was right! 10,000 years really DID give him a crick in the neck!**

[Dark, Warf, and Gordon go flying across the temple]

**Actor Mark: You guys suck. Really, I can’t believe I used to DATE you! You used to be cool, dude!**

**Darkiplier, landing on the floor: Have you met me?!**

**Actor Mark: Yeah.**

**Darkiplier: I was REALLY cool.**

**Actor Mark: You’re sexy as fuck, but you’re also a dickhead.**

[The Actor suddenly has a yellow and green gem, and they’re forming around each other]

**Actor Mark: You’ve stuck me in your juul-**

**Darkiplier: You know what they say-**

**Actor Mark: I don’t know what they say, and I don’t care what they say.**

[The power of the yellow and green gems create an entire army of Actor Marks. Same voice, hair, suit, creepy mask and everything]

 **Actor Mark: Look at my army of me’s! I’m going to fuck me, because I can’t trust anybody with my penis except for myself! Can you believe me? Have you ever fucked a clone? It’s great. They know ALL the right places, and I have** **_ten million_ ** **of them to go around.**

**Darkiplier: But Actor! Fucking you is MY job!**

**Actor Mark: Not anymore, baby! Not ever since I became an independent gamer-**

**Darkiplier: Joke’s on you. This is a dream come true for me.**

**Actor Mark: WOULD YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?! I swear to god, I didn’t invite you to my house! I put it on Facebook that I was having a homecoming party because-**

**Darkiplier: Google, count how many mouths he has with that mask on!**

**Gordon: Okay.**

**Darkiplier: Yeah, exactly! You ain’t got no mouths, bitch!**

[Dark takes off their ring and hands it to Wilford as if the craziest man on Earth can keep it safe]

**Actor Mark: Oh, we have to get them before they leave! They’re crashing my great fucking homewarming party-**

[Dark’s auras suddenly blast around the room]

**Actor Mark: OH MY GOD!**

[Dark, Wilford, and Gordon run through the crowd of Actor Clones]

**Actor Mark: NO! WHAT THE FUCK?! MY CLONES! NO!**

**Darkiplier,** **Warfstache,** **& ** **Gordon** **:** **_AAA_ ** **_AAA_ ** **_AAA_ ** **_AAA_ ** **_AAA_ ** **_AAA_ ** **_AAA_ ** **_AAA_ ** **_AAA_ ** **_!_ ** **_!_ ** **_!_ **

**Actor Mark: DICKHEAD! YOU’RE THE WORST!**


	45. Tying Ears in a Knot

**[** Back at the Ice Cream Ship, Magnum’s computers are acting REAL funky **]**

**Captain Magnum:** Oh god- wait- what’s happening?! Wait- No! The battle royale! It’s being-

**Computer:** CURRENTLY BEING HACKED! CURRENTLY BEING HACKED!

**Captain Magnum:** It’s being destroyed! What’s happened?! What’s going on?! Why is Fortnite being destroyed-?!

**Computer:** Your account is compromised!

**Captain Magnum:** NO GODDAMMIT! I spent so many hours getting all those skins! The dances! THEY’RE ALL GONE! NOOOO!!!

**Computer:** Your social security is someone else’s!

[Magnum’s painful screaming can be heard from a distance, as Mark, Damien, and Celine stop chasing it. “Do Your Ears Hang Low?” continues jingling as the Ice Cream Ship catches fire and crashes]

**Mark:** No! I wanted a Spongebob popsicle!

**Damien:** I like the Bubbles ones.

**Mark:** … You WHAT?!

**Damien:** You know, from Powerpuff Girls?

[Mark falls to his knees]

**Mark:** I never thought someone could be… so misguided… (punches the ground in pure despair) AURGHURAGHUGH!

**Damien:** Yeah… that’s my name, and my game. Wait, how does that saying go? I- I’ll shut up now.

**Celine:** Don’t be so hard on him, Mark.

**Mark:** I’ll be as hard on him as I wanna be.

**Damien:** That’s very suggestive, but also, if you’re offering, then I’d be happy to… you know…

**Mark:** …  _ What? _

**Damien, pulling out a diamond:** Oh, um, okay, I’m sorry… Have a diamond.

[Mark pulls out a diamond as well. They do the gay thing]

**Mark:** Yeah! Time travel! Again!

**Damien:** (whimpers)

[As a portal forms, Celine hums the Zelda chest opening theme]

**Mark:** Damien, you know what? You’re a twink. I’m gonna go smoke some weed now.

**Damien:** How long were you waiting to say that?

**Mark:** The whole dub, baby!

**Damien:** Yeah, I figured. Okay. Have fun.

[Mark gives the twins a thumbs up and leaps in the portal… until the twins nod at each other]

**Damien:** Wait, I changed my mind, I’m coming with you!

[The twins jump in the portal]


	46. DRAMA?! Part 3

**[** Mark hops out of the portal back in tHE SAME FUCKING TOWN AS IT WAS BEFORE **]**

**Mark:** Oh! Wait… did we time-

[He yelps as everything goes white, going to Damien and Celine in a hot place with the two gems in Damien’s hands]

**Damien:** Oh, what the heck?! What are we doing HERE?! And why am I still HOLDING THESE?!

**Celine:** You’re holding it because we have a job to do, Damien T. Mayor.

**Damien:** Is the job to be gross?

**Celine:** No.

**Damien:** Oh, but we’re really good at that.

**Celine:** The job is to facilitate maAA-!

[Celine yelps as everything goes white again, and it goes back to Mark staring off at the clock tower strike… the afternoon]

[Back to the hot place, and lava acts up]

**Damien:** Oh no…

**Celine:** I’m going to sacrifice myself, Damien.

**Damien:** No, please! You’re too good- You’re not only too good for this world, but also any other world that could possibly exist! Here, let me try…

[The gems in Damien’s hands power up, and some SUPER powerful lava stuff happens - too powerful for a sweet boy like Damien to handle]

**Celine:** Damien, there’s no other way! You’ll die!

**Damien, crying in pain:** No, I can do this!

**Celine:** Damien, quit it!

**Damien:** I can be-

**Celine:** Damien!

**Damien:** I can be a cool boy!

**Celine:** Quit it!

**Damien:** I’m cool!

**Celine:** Damien!

[She puts a hand on his shoulder to make him stop]

**Celine:** Who will pass on my legacy if you are gone?

[She takes the gems out of Damien’s hands]

**Damien:** No…

**Celine:** It’s my job, Damien. I will take on this burden.

[The gems power up in her hands]

**Celine:** TREAT ME LIKE A GODDESS!

**Damien:** I think I already did, but okay…

[The lava power of yellow surrounds Celine in patterns like Jimmy Neutron’s shirt]

**Celine:** Damien! When they talk about me in the future, make sure my name is something cool. Like… Pamela Horton.

**Damien:** Or Celine?

**Celine:** Yes! The coolest name in the world! That was a test, Damien, and you passed!

**Damien:** Finally, I did something right!

**Celine:** Damien?

**Damien:** What? What is it? What is it, sister?

**Celine:** I’m almost proud of you.

**Damien, getting tears in his eyes:** (gasps) That’s the most proud of me you’ve ever been…!

**Celine:** When you think of me, think of approximate gratitude!

[The power of yellow lava becomes more powerful, enough to make Celine drop the gems]

**Damien:** No!

[Celine’s form becomes all golden and sparkly and she starts floating in the air - oh my fucking god, she’s fucking dead!]

**Celine:** _“Bye, Felicia…” Wait, that wasn’t me saying that! WHO’S THERE?!_

**Damien, watching his sister’s ghost fly off:** She went out the way we all want to. By turning into mist and sparkles after holding two diamonds…

[Wait, doesn’t this mean WKM is entirely avoided, and that would mean Darkiplier wouldn’t exist in this timeline anymore?]

[Gradually, sun rays fade through the dark clouds]

**Damien:** Oh, it’s so bright out now… I wanna go inside…

**Celine:** _ You are still my bitch  _ (echoes) _ bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch… _

**Damien:** I always will be.


	47. A Friendship Going Anywhere

**[** Mark is once again carrying Y/N in his arms as he runs down Magnum’s decaying Ice Cream Ship hallway **]**

**Mark:** Whoa! We gotta escape from- somewhere?! How did we get here?!

[The two make it outside of the ship, and Y/N points at a random direction to a falling piece of ship debris]

**Y/N:** Go that way!

**Mark:** Okay, but it looks like we’re gonna have to jump!

**Y/N:** What else is new? You’ve done that five times.

**Mark:** What? I can’t hear you, it’s so loud out here! Here we go!

[Mark and Y/N friggin BELLYFLOP to a bunch of debris from the ship]

**Mark:** We might do this. We’re gonna make it! We’re gonna make it!! We’re gonna make it!!!

[Mark leaps up to reach the edge of a mountain]

**Mark:** There’s no way we can’t make it!

[Mark and Y/N start to fall. Is this the end for Markiplier?]

[No! A piece of debris explodes big enough for Mark and Y/N to soar up to the top of the mountain!]

[The two land, making rolling noises from their bones cracking all over the place]

**Mark:** Buddy!

[Y/N catches their breath with a big grin on their face]

**Mark:** Hey. Guess what?

**Y/N:** What?

[Mark helps Y/N up to their feet]

**Mark:** I can never die.

[The two laugh for a very long time]

**Mark:** Nice smile. Wink!

**Y/N:** Wink!

**Mark:** Ah! No, it was gross on you…


	48. The Actor's Soliloquy

**[** In the Actor’s chambers, he is holding a purple gem **]**

**Actor Mark: Finally, the corrupted weed gem! Finally, those assholes will stop following me around and I can move on from my life. I used to be into Fortnite. Yeah, sure, we all had that kind of phase. That doesn’t mean I want to keep dating my Fortnite boyfriend and inviting him to my new apartment every time I have a party.**


	49. Darude Feelstorm

**[** Mark and Y/N are walking in the woods **]**

**Mark:** Oh… I feel potent angst energy in this forest, pal!

[The two turn over, and the corrupted weed gem is having a rave party, beeping the tune of “Darude Sandstorm”. The Actor rises from the ground, seeing Mark and Y/N]

**Actor Mark: What the-?**

**Mark:** I feel so distracted!

**Actor Mark: What the fuck? What are you people doing on my front lawn?! Get out of here!!**

[The Actor accidentally blasts a magic thing through Mark - and an epic orchestration version of “Darude Sandstorm” plays]

**Mark:** AUGH-!!

**Actor Mark: Oh my god! Oh my god- are you okay?! Holy shit…! I- I- I don’t think I should pull it out- I think if I pull it out, he’ll bleed out- oh my god- oh my god… (pulls out accidentally) I didn’t mean to do that- Oh my god…**

**Mark, collapsing to the ground:** Oh… you were right…! I’m bleeding out…!

**Actor Mark: I mean…**

**Mark:** All over the ground… Oh my god, there’s so much visible rendered blood…

**Y/N, shaking Mark to get him up:** Oh no, Mark! Mark!

**Actor Mark: I mean, you shouldn’t have come on my property, you scared me! I’m sorry, I didn’t know what I was doing! I was- it was self-defense and it is- I- we are in America, this was self- (freaks the fuck out) Oh my god… I’m gonna fucking puke.**

**Y/N:** Wake up! Wake up, Mark! Please!

[Y/N turns Mark over on his back, and his hand does the dramatic hand death thing in movies where it goes limb on his side and that means he’s dead now]

**Y/N, crying:** No…! His hand… it was the most beautiful part… of him…

[Y/N suddenly remembers their younger self in the same kind of position as they were for their father]

**Y/N:** Oh no… I’m havin’ a flashback…

[“Baby!” echoes]

[Cut to the Mark is Fucking Dead present, and something in Y/N fires up]

**Y/N:** (sob-screams)  _ NO!! _

[Random yellow power fucking explodes out of Y/N as they cry out, and it only makes the Actor flinch]

**Actor Mark: OH MY GOD- Oh my god, what the fuck?!**

[Yellow power soars in the air]

**Actor Mark, mood change and all: Yo, it’s yellow! Oh my god- Yo, I’m red, that’s yellow! Ooohhh! Complimenting the color, baby~! Okay, this’ll look really good on my mantle- If I can just solidify this yellow essence into, like, a crystal or something, that would be dope.**


	50. Thank You, BP

**[** Surprisingly, Dark, Wilford, and Gordon are still in the Actor’s temple, and they are surrounded by tar **]**

**Gordon: We are trapped in the tar. This is what it looks like. This is America.**

**Warfstache:** God, fucking thanks, BP.

**Darkiplier, while putting their new ring back on: Better not catch you slipping now, Google. Now let’s see, now that I got my ring back on, I can… wear a ring. (notices the Actor’s yellow and green gems) Oh!**

**Gordon: Dark, be careful. That is the power of Sprite!**

[The power of Sprite activates, temporarily blinding everybody]

**Darkiplier: AGH, SPRITE!**

**Warfstache:** Aaaagh!

**Darkiplier: I’m more of a Coca-Cola fan…**


	51. Incel Rights...? Nah.

**[** It’s the middle of the night, and a spiral of fire surrounds the Actor as his rainbow gems are activated towards him **]**

**Actor Mark: Now I have all the colors of the rainbow, and I can unleash my TRUE GAY POWER! (maniacally laughs) NOW EVERYONE’S MY BOYFRIEND! (continues laughing until he chokes and hacks)**

[As the ultimate Incel Rights announcement unleashes its power, everybody in the kingdom freaks out, and Crowd Member #6 from the very first chapter screams, “HEY! MY BED’S FIXED!”]


	52. Teehee, Power of Friendship

**[** The power of the Incel Actor has become so strong that he just forms into a frickin baby sun. Now imagine “Lifelight” from Super Smash Bros. Ultimate playing in your head with that image **]**

[Oh yeah, all the egos are in one place again! Fun!]

**Bingiplier:** **What** the **fuck** is **happening?!** What **are** these **feelings?!**

**Damien:** Oh my god. It almost went as white as the person writing this! That’s bad… (turns over and sees Yandere) OH NO-! No, not you again!

**YanderePlier:** Oh my god!

**Darkiplier: Oh Christ, it’s you guys.**

**Gordon: What’s up, bitches?**

**YanderePlier:** Wilford!

[Magnum has his arms in the air as if he’s praising the baby Actor Incel sun]

**Captain Magnum:** (laughs, affected by the gay part of the Actor’s power) cock.

**Darkiplier: Mood, Magnum. Mood.**

**Gordon: Cooooooooock.**

**Captain Magnum:** (mumbles SOMETHING about craving some gamer dick…) Since 1907.

[Everybody sees Y/N cradling Mark’s corpse]

**Captain Magnum:** Mark is finally dead.

**YanderePlier:** Whoa!

**Darkiplier: Wait, he’s dead?**

**YanderePlier:** Holy shit! You killed my boyfriend?!

**Bingiplier:** No,  **Mark!**

**YanderePlier:** Wait…

**Darkiplier: Fuck yeah.**

**Bingiplier:** Oh  **no,** what  **happened** to  **him,** Heir?

**YanderePlier:** I’ll never get to play… the song I wrote for him! Maybe if I sing now, it’ll help…!

**Darkiplier: Don’t…**

[Yandere proceeds to doot “Pumpkin Hill”]

**Darkiplier: … Nevermind, this is a jam.**

**Damien:** I’ll get my keytar.

**Yancy, cry-rapping:** “You know me, the fighting freak Knuckles…”

**Captain Magnum, holding back tears:** Now, this isn’t the diss that I wanted. Shit, goddamn… this is fucking ridiculous… Fucking shit.

**YanderePlier, sobbing:** Everybody sing it with me!

[Everybody starts dooting]

[Suddenly, the Incel Actor baby sun starts acting up, making everybody stop dooting]

**Captain Magnum:** Finally God, take me. I want it now. Give me death. Just like Mark.

**Darkiplier: Satan, if you’re out there, I want a piece of that pie, too.**

**Yancy:** Oh… wait. (sees knuckles) I have hands?

**Damien:** This is… awkward. I don’t know any of you guys, and you’re acting all like, “Oh man, it’s so sad,” and like, I want to feel bad too, but I don’t know you…? So…

**Darkiplier: Untrue. I kicked you in the back of the head once, and it was awesome. Remember that, Damien? Remember getting your ass kicked? That’s how Mark feels, except not as bad.**

**Y/N:** I think… maybe…

**Damien:** You shut up.

**Y/N:** The power of friendship… can bring him back… if we unite as friends.

**YanderePlier, slowly lifting her head up:** I. Will fucking. End you.

**Y/N:** No. No, we can’t end.

**Damien:** Yeah, we can. We can end right now. You wanna do it? You wanna go? You wanna test me?! I got nothing left to live for. The best sister in the world turned into sparkles and flew away.

[Everybody looks at Damien in shock]

**Damien:** That’s right. Let’s just do it. Let’s just end it all. (runs over to Y/N, furious) You ready? You ready to go?! You ready to leave this MORTAL PLANE?!

**Y/N, going along with it:** Yes.

**Gordon: What kind of fucking crack is this.**

**Damien:** I hate… I mean… no. I don’t hate everything. I’m actually happy…

[You know that little scar on Magnum’s right eye? Yeah we’re zooming in on that now cuz it’s opening up all blue-y like]

**Captain Magnum:** Sans Undertale, go into my eyes.

[Confusion ensues from everybody else]

**Captain Magnum:** Now, here’s what we’re going to do…

[he doesn’t specify the plan]

**Bingiplier: Magnum,** I  **didn’t** know  **you** got  **Google** glass!  **That’s** awesome!

**Yancy:** Hell yeah.

**YanderePlier:** Waitaminute, waitaminute, waitaminute, waitaminute. Are we killing ourselves or not?! (runs off) ALRIGHT, BYE!

[Everybody runs off - to get the Actor’s rainbow gems so they can spread their own message of LGBT rights by bringing back Mark from the dead!]

**Bingiplier:** **Okay,** let’s **go!**

**Yancy, seeing that Yandere is sharpening her katana instead of getting a gem:** Wait- Yandere- NO!


	53. A Romance Going Nowhere

**[** Later, once everybody gathers the gems around Mark’s body, an instrumental of “Sanctuary” from Kingdom Hearts II starts playing **]**

**Darkiplier: I remember this worked well when I was trying to summon Animal Crossing for Switch.**

[Even though Y/N isn’t religious, they begin to pray]

**Y/N:** Bring him back, with the power of colors. All the colors of the rainbow. Red, for… red. The color of love, and lust, and hate. All of those, all combined together. The power of purple, and blue, and clear- Clear is a color too! Don’t forget it.

[The gems and Mark rise up from the floor, and Y/N gets up to their feet]

**Y/N:** You  _ can’t  _ forget the color clear. And by the power of all the colors, and also of friendship, return to me, Mark. Return to all of us! We have united for you. We’ve united to bring you back! And so you must come. Come! Ignore the light. Come back to regular reality.

[Y/N walks over to Mark and holds his hand, leaning over]

**Darkiplier: Wait, are they-?**

**Y/N, leaning closer:** Where it’s just…

**Warfstache:** No, no, no, no, NO!

**Y/N:** Normal.

[Everybody chants no, begging for Y/N to stop doing what they are doing, and they scream as…  _ it _ happens]

[Screeching is heard from literally everybody]

[MARK IS ALIVE THOUGH! He floats down to his feet, facing Y/N]

**Mark:** _ My Heir. I have something to admit to you. _

[He smiles widely, in love]

**Mark:** _I have a girlfriend._

[Y/N clasps their mouth, and faints just by the look of true love coming from Mark and the feels he has for the one, the only, Amy Nelson!]

[Mark catches Y/N, hugging them]

**Mark:** _I understand the friendzone. It’s hard to deal with._

[Everybody cheers that Mark is alive and well]

**Mark:** _It’s okay. We can still be friends, though. But first, I have to take care of this… alpha gamer… incel guy, I guess._

**Darkiplier: Yeah, that’s a plot.**

**Mark:** _ Hey, you wanna join me? You guys wanna start a totally-normal-polyamorous-selfcest-marriage? _

**Damien:** Sure!

**Mark:** _ We’ll all be yellow! _

**Darkiplier: Wait, is that how this works?**

**Damien:** Okay!

[The three power up]

**Darkiplier: Damien, you’re** **_the double bottom._ **

**Damien:** And I’ll be  _ the twink! _

**Darkiplier:** **_Yeah, that’s what I said._ **

**Warfstache:** I now pronounce you husband, spouse, and husband!

[Mark, Dark, and Damien shoot up in the air to the Actor sun]

**Mark:** _Hell yeah!_

**Darkiplier:** **_Mark Fishbach said gay rights._ **

**Damien:** _Wooooo!_

[Everybody from below is cheering]

**YanderePlier, devastated that she is forever single:** SHIT!

**Bingiplier:** We’ll  **save** the  **world** by  **the** power  **of** gay!

[Just a few seconds later - the Actor Incel sun blows up]

**Mark:** _ And then we killed it. _

**Darkiplier:** **_And then we played Neopets._ **

**Warfstache:** Hell yeah!

**Gordon: Oh sweet joy!**

**Bingiplier: Yes!!!**

**Yancy:** Yeah!

**Captain Magnum:** (pretends to not be impressed)

[Yandere puts her hands on Y/N’s shoulders]

**YanderePlier:** Hey! Hey, do you wanna go out?

[Y/N doesn’t really have a choice in this, so they just nod]

**YanderePlier:** Hell yeah! Mark look! I’m gay too!

**Warfstache:** Yandere, what the fuck?!

[The explosion of the Acting Incel sun shrinks down into the size of a flame]


	54. The Game Flame Part 1

**[** Y/N and Mark are suddenly floating in a dark blue abyss **]**

 **Mark:** Where are we?

 **Y/N:** It’s beautiful… Colorless, but colorful?

 **Harold’s ghost:** _You have both been Norted._ (echoes) _Norted Norted Norted Norted…_

 **Mark:** Oh no! I was avoiding spoilers…

[Flashback time, to a Baby Y/N and their dad, looking at a tiny flame being held in a special room]

 **Harold:** Do you see that, my gamer child? That is your life. That is your flame, that no one can ever put out. Not even the gamers.

 **Baby Y/N:** Okay… I guess we just gotta be real quiet here.

 **Harold:** Yeah, I know. Speechless. I was speechless too when I first saw the flame. But you will continue on. Understand that, gamer child. The flame within you shines brighter than any Xbox 360 controller.

 **Baby Y/N:** It’s so great!

 **Harold, choking up:** I can’t fucking understand you…

[Yeah well, neither can they, Harold. Your lisp is SO strange]

 **Harold:** But it’s okay. You’re my beautiful baby child and I love you a lot. You little rugrat. Now, come on. Let’s go get some IHOP.

[Harold takes baby Y/N’s hand to leave the room, but they keep staring at the flame in awe]

 **Harold:** I know. The flame’s pretty fucking crazy, right? Now let’s go get that IHOP.


	55. The Game Flame Part 2

**[** End of flashback; present day. Y/N is leading Mark into the same room as before **]**

**Mark:** So this is the flame of gamers?

**Y/N:** Yeah. It’s been burning since I was a child. It’s still going! The flame of hope. The flame of the game.

**Mark:** That’s pretty lit!

**Y/N:** Yes. Except, nobody can see it, because it’s a private area, so…

[Y/N picks the flame up]

**Mark:** Right. Let’s put it out! I hate games.

**Y/N:** I’m just gonna show it to you up close… It’s really important. So, don’t blow it out or anything, just- I don’t know. Can you feel it?

**The Gamer Flame:** _(gamer talk whispers)_

**Mark:** Hey, uh…

**Y/N:** Yeah, it’s whispering to me. Do you hear it too? The spirit of the games.

**The Gamer Flame:** _(gamer talk whispers)_

**Y/N:** Let it inspire you. Feel it in your heart.

**Mark:** I don’t know-

**Y/N:** Oh no- sorry. Go on.

**Mark:** No, I was just- I mean, video game shave just been kinda- oh- oh no…

[Y/N is tearing up]

**Y/N:** It’s so inspiring…

**Mark:** Oh- Hey, let me, uh, cheer you up! Uh, what does a ghost say?

[Y/N is crying]

**Mark:** What does a ghost say?

**Y/N:** “Games… in the heart.”

**The Gamer Flame:** _The purpose of my content is to entertain… I can’t wait for the new Sonic character._

**Y/N:** (sighing) … I think I want to eat it. Or maybe kiss it.

[Y/N pressed B to Blow the Flame]

**The Gamer Flame:** _Smash that like button. Game over._


	56. The End!

**[** A marching band version of “Die Young” by Ke$ha plays as a royal boat floats across a lake between a kingdom **]**

[There’s a ceremony going on while Y/N, the heir of a kingdom, does a special ceremony thing with fire!]

**Y/N, waving to the crowd:** Hi guys! Hello!

[Mark runs around the town]

**Mark:** I gotta get on that plane! Wait- boat.

[He stops, seeing Y/N on the boat]

**Mark:** Nice! Pretty boat!

[As Mark speeds through, the wind picks up and pulls one of Y/N’s hair feathers out]

**Y/N:** Oh…! I think that was meant for us.

**Lady-in-waiting #1:** What the fuck are you talking about?

**Y/N:** The- Didn’t you just feel that? That breeze? It penetrated my heart.

**Lady-in-waiting #2:** Sorry, that was me. I farted.

[Ignoring that, Y/N continues waving to the crowd]

**Y/N:** Hi guys! Thanks for coming!

[The feather floats up in the air, as Mark and Amy watch the ceremony. Mark grabs the feather and hands it to Amy]

**Amy:** Oh! Vanilla!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was motivated enough to finish this whole thing in one go (unlike MOST of my works lately...), so this was very fun! I hope yall liked this work of insanity!
> 
> Once again, if you'd like to watch the original fandub of Sonic 06, watch here! -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGe79n-jcHk


End file.
